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    • I have more than 5,000 contacts. I have more than 5,000 contacts. It is amazing to me how fast it can pass by as well! I too have some long time "friends" who are only friends of mine if you ask them. It makes it difficult at times, although I have a clear understand of who is friend and who claims to be. xxx January 20, 2013 14:01
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Saturday Evening Post

Extra Large Coffee CupWe escaped the torrential rains, but they are coming. You can smell them on the breeze. The flowers are ready. Clyde is itching like he had a fresh case of fleas. Grab a cuppa and snuggle into a rocker. It has been an interesting week. Let’s talk.

Guest Posts

Many thanks to both those who submitted guest posts for my vacation and for the M3 Readers for your fantastic interaction with those who posted. There are a number of guest posts coming over the next week as I wrap up some loose ends and attempt to find a full day where I can take off.

If you would like to guest post on M3, drop me a line through Ask Momma.

What vaca?

BlackBerry Storm 2

Told you mine had better wallpaper.

Despite my best laid plans, my vaca was non-existent. Aside from a six-hour span of non-plugged-in time, I was on call for M3 and RP. It was not all bad. A number of authors have taken to the water at full speed. If you have not been by the book store to browse for something wonderful to read, consider this your invitation.

Coaching

Another part of my life which did not abide my vacation was my coaching business. While it is not something I advertise, I am a life and business coach. The new year is always busy as people realize they need help with resolutions or goals or even goal-setting.

I am very pleased to have squared away two clients for the quarter who are steaming ahead with good plans for accomplishing all they desire. We managed to do it without wearing out the battery on my CrackBerry.

Right Turn, Clyde!

Patience is not an orangutan virtue. To be frank, in this instance, I am with Clyde. What has his dander up? Authenticity.

The ape does not have a problem with knock-off furniture, shoes (even if I might with shoes) or handbags. People who are inauthentic are a completely different story.

Authenticity is something we often take for granted. We trust. We feel like our friends are going to be authentic in their approach to us on personal, corporate and social levels. We have been encompassed in the WYSIWYG mentality.

For example?

Mantra WritesLet’s use me an an example of being inauthentic. What do you know about me? Chances are good, even if you are a new M3 Reader, you can name a top five of what you think I am. If you know me really well, you can rattle off a top ten in a matter of moments.

When we compare the top ten you have and my top ten, a bookie would lay 2-to-1 odds they would differ. Why? You have each been exposed to different layers of who I am. For instance…

How many would say I am a mother? Given the URL of the blog and all the pictures of my children lying about, most of you. How many would say I am a grandmother? Hmm. A lot of hands went down. Why?

How many of you would say I am a writer? Yes, I thought so. How many would say I am an author? We will forgive you while you look at the Red Books page. How many of you would say I am an artist? Wow, really? I may not showcase my artwork on this blog, but it did not stop me from using my own illustrations in MFM or creating such gems as this:

Glass Cross

or this:

Crochet Edging

 

or even this:

Feather Pencil Drawing

Creation is usually an art form of one variety or another.

How many of you knew about my other business (besides RP)? Clients do not count, so put your hand down, please.

So, how many of you knew I was a man?

Cricket Chirping

I better only hear crickets chirping.

Contrast Illusions

Rippling Female SymbolFailing to know all the layers of a person is not the equivalent to being inauthentic. So, why the drawn out example? Simple. Not one of us can be defined in single terms.

You could poll those who do business with me, and they will attest to the presence of my rather large testicles. That does not change the exclusive presence of female genitalia.

Each and every one of you has seen at least one of my pairs of shoes (see above on my tele), yet it does not mean I do not have boots to muck in the garden or the barn. They do not change my femininity.

I can hold my breath for nearly four minutes because I have 3.1 litre lungs. Yes, my lungs are the size of a 6’1″ man. My bra is not holding my lungs, however.

Just because moments of my day are spent doing things which may belie your initial impression of me does not mean I am inauthentic. They merely exhibit the scope of my abilities, reveal a portion to which you had otherwise not been exposed and prove stereotyping is the modus operandum of stupid and lazy people.

Enter Ape

Right turn, Clyde.

Right turn, Clyde.

If none of the contrasts above are inauthentic, what is being inauthentic? In a word: Lying.

We, with our higher intellect, have the capacity and propensity to exaggerate or downplay our own attributes and characteristics in order to garner endorsement from our peer groups. (The link is well worth the read.)

Occasionally, we can be absolutely inauthentic and outright manufacture attributes which would make us more attractive to (employers, peers, Mate). Oh, yes, we can.

  • I worked at Lockheed-Martin. (on a job application)
  • I sky dove. (to a group of adventure buffs)
  • I do not snore. (Mate is going to find this out, guaranteed.)

In fact, you snored on the plane while you were accompanying your BFF, who did skydive, but you only did it because the motion sickness medicine interacted with the litre of Scotch you drank to overcome your fear of flying in a plane manufactured by Lockheed-Martin. We completely understand how these minor inconsistencies slipped out.

Flip

Buffalo Nickel

No cents.

The other side of that coin is equally as tarnished. Failing to admit attributes is equally inauthentic. Never done it? Hmm.

Prejudice.

What an ugly word, but it is a way of life. We look down upon or warily at others who we feel are inferior, a danger or unequal. We actively distance ourselves from these individuals, yet find ourselves elbow-to-elbow with them often. When we do, rather than tarnish the brilliantly polished benevolent impression others have of us, we don a plastic smile, shake hands and are cordial… until we can get to the restroom to wash our hands, spit out the taste of bile in our mouths and curse like a sailor for having to abide such people.

The obvious offenders are racists. The prevalent and more prolific offenders are common folk, like your friends and mine. They are cordial and polite and may even help on occasion. It comes at a price. Our reputations are sacrificed on their private altars of self-righteous superiority. In their private rendition of us, our parents were never married, we do not have access to indoor plumbing and we do not own eating utensils. Further, life would be better on a planetary scale if we did not exist. Why? Simply because we fail to live up to their arbitrary standard of what is authentic.

Being inauthentic is not always about how we portray ourselves to others. More often, it is the hiding of our intolerance of those who truly are WYSIWYG.

It is enough to make an ape wonder.

Until next time,

Red Signature

If you had to give me a top five, what am I authentically? What is your top five? Have you ever been close to someone who was inauthentic? (No names) Are you an example of contrast illusions?

#Hashtags: #psychology #authenticity #denial


© Red Dwyer 2013
Re-Blogging of this or any other post on The M3 Blog
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Copyright and Privacy Policy available in The Office.



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32 Comments

  1. “So, how many of you knew I was a man?”

    NOT ME!!!
    Bearman recently posted..Australian Beer Tastes Like PissMy Profile

    Reply
  2. I’m probably not authentic since I am a figament of my own imagination. You are right, it’s a defense mechanism. But I am pretty much the same all the time.
    I had a life coach once. He benched me.
    Bo Lumpkin recently posted..New Lumpkin Family MemberMy Profile

    Reply
    • Then, he missed out on a real good player. I see you as horrifically authentic, Bo. Always have.

      Reply
  3. You are all of the above, but I especially like life coach, motivator, positivity trainer, for you. I have had the BEST new year I have ever had, thanks to your mentoring and blog. I try to be authentically me, and most times I am. We all have facets. I learned several years ago to hide myself takes more energy than I have in me, and people love me for my true self or they don’t. It’s easier this way. <3

    Reply
    • It is true. I think hiding is much more work. Since I could honestly not care less if ppl “like” me, I am free to be the only me I can be. Brutal, but true. 🙂 xxx

      Reply
  4. Authenticity? Red, I have no doubts about yours. I have, however, met a number of people about whom I’ve had doubts. The sad thing is, these have been life-long friends. They seem to have forgotten who they are because they keep changing their script (every time the wind shifts). Sometimes, you have to take a step back and let the train wreck p.a.s.s. you by.
    Tess Kann recently posted..Slam DUNKMy Profile

    Reply
    • It is amazing to me how fast it can pass by as well! I too have some long time “friends” who are only friends of mine if you ask them. It makes it difficult at times, although I have a clear understand of who is friend and who claims to be. xxx

      Reply

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