The block button is the only social media button more powerful than the share button. I have to flip a coin to see which one I prefer on any given day. This week held precisely no exceptions.
Our Friday nights have normally been spent in my inbox, so I shall stay true to form, at least for a few. But I will let you in on some of the fun I can have on social media, as well.
Sex is overrated.”
We all know sex sells, but I have to admit Let’s Talk About Sex was not the post I thought would fly off the charts, nor rally so stinking many people to carrying pitchforks and torches. The most colorful one in my social media inbox was a little lady (guessing and giving a bunch of latitude here) from Indiana. It started innocently enough…You know, dear, …
She did not take four words to get to the cataclysm. In the barrage of insults, I pictured a 3’11” cotton-top wagging a bony finger toward my nose with the other hand clenched on her hip. One quote stuck out more than all the others…Sex is overrated. Anyone want to put that to a poll?
You are a racist Republican bigot.”
Remind me to never move to Nevada. The desert must fry the brain. Enter Old Sparky. On the subject of last meals, I apparently turned someone’s stomach.
One particularly caustic email came from a man(?) who signed his moniker as Truth from the libral write. Before I question the possibilities of his October birth, dyslexia and dementia, let me give you a few gems from this scathing message:
- Only racists supports the death penalty.
- You republicans are all alike. Why not just starve them to daeth?
- Bigots are the reason we even have a [expletives (plural) deleted] death row you moron.
I ran out of fingers trying to list all the things wrong with just those three statements.
Party girls are a bad influence.”
Can I have a Scarlet A as well? Mona (if she signed her real name this time) was completely bent over After Baby BFF. Once again, I am the cause of all which is “wrong with society today”. Some of the list of should’s and should not’s I got were:
- (Should) Keep my dress down. Hanging out with my BFF would inevitably lead to more children.
- (Should not) Be hanging out with party girls. After all, they are a bad influence and probably why I got pregnant.
- (Should) Just stay home and take care of that Gift From GOD. And to think I missed the angelic FedEx guy while I was at the hospital.
- (Should not) Pawn that beautiful child off on my poor husband. (Deep breath. Count to 10.)
Just to clear the air, Mona:
- I am wearing pants (for once).
- I cannot class my girlfriends as party girls. And sex causes pregnancy.
- I do not have a bundle of joy at home. My grandson lives with his mother, my angel.
- I am currently not married, getting there next year, but not yet.
You have no taste what so ever.”
This particular message remained completely anonymous, but took the time to object to each (EACH) of the 36 questions. Although the perfect revenge would be posting them all, let me show you which answers of mine were most hated:
- 6. You don’t need anything in hell and you cannot take it with you.
- 7. Just join an internet dating site and quit advertizing on a blog for [expletive deleted]’s sake.
- 8. You can’t have ex’s. Nobody would put up with your [expletives deleted] long enough to get together.
- 18. Everything about you is EVIL! [exclamation points deleted]
- 26. [Expletive deleted] drug addict.
- 36. You aren’t important in my life.
Wow! I would never have guessed with that level of objection.
And there you have the top jewels from this week. Any retorts?
(c) Ann Marie Dwyer 2011
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