Despite the corporate world often complaining I have no heart, or I do but it is a microbial piece of titanium diboride, in fact, I do have a heart. It stays generally on the mend from one occasion to the next. There are definite ways to permeate the sutures.
1. Know me.
Think this is a no brainer? In more than 10 posts on The M3 Blog, those who have read them all have only begun to scratch the surface of who I am. There will always be parts of me you do not know.
Those who work very closely with me are amazed cyclically at what I accomplish and what I know which keeps them from being neck deep in some pile or other.
Those who are friends stand back and scratch their heads when they mention some situation, convinced it is a singular occurrence. I normally can name one personal example and a handful of experiences where I was a player, spectator, instigator or corrective agent.
My clients bring me their life conundrums, convinced they are insurmountable. I ravel the knot into a bullet list.
Those who have gotten close enough to me to see vulnerabilities I hold close to the vest become shy. Over the years I have learned being in the room with someone who is a force of nature can be intimidating. Not many venture that far without succumbing to an inferiority complex, a broken heart knowing what has not killed me or information overloaded to the point of drooling and mumbling obscenities.
Without #1, you simply cannot get here. Ultimately, trust is the utmost of respect.
When I attempt things, many fish eye me to see if they can discern what has possessed me. In fact, I often take the less traveled path, arrive faster and stay longer. If I could bottle it, I would cure ED.
This leads to a questioning of my motives more often than I think is appropriate. While I readily admit a past which includes giving some what they righteously deserve, I am not (always) malevolent. If I love you, I will do nothing for which I will ever need to apologize. You have to trust I have your best interest at heart (hand and mind) and await the finale. I am the queen of the surprise happy ending. (Just do not read my flash as proof.)
This is a two-way street. You have to be trustworthy as well; otherwise, there is no point in trusting me to do anything other than what you righteously deserve. Chances are good, I will use the best revenge ever: Live well, without you.
3. Be kind.
Not just to me. To everyone who is greater or smaller than you.
- Animals (with fur, scales or skin)
- My family (extended around the globe)
- Less fortunate (which is most everyone)
- The undeserved (This is the hard one.)
- Misfits (One day you will be, too.)
It does not cost any more to be nice.
Not just at me. With me, for me, because of me, in spite of me, at yourself. As the cliché goes, this woman loves a man who can make her laugh. No, this does not let the women in my life off the hook. I want to laugh with you as well.
5. Let it out.
In the last 40+ years, I have grown up to be a big girl, emotionally if not physically. I can handle a lot, not to be overly descriptive. Whether what is weighing on your will cause #4 or be the opposite, share it with me. I deserve to know what is happening in my world. Although I have the power to keep secrets under the right circumstances, the one who has my heart needs to level with me about everything.
In short, I cannot help if I have no real concept of what is going on.
Which (if any) of these is a deal breaker for you? Are they on your prerequisite list? Are you willing to take the challenge?
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