C is for Confidence

Quick! Grab a scribble stick and a scrap of paper. Name three things you do well. No, now. Mark down three things you really do well. Any three things. Got your list? Good. Let’s talk about confidence.

It is easy to be confident about things we know we know how to do well. Chances are good along the way we encountered some of the reactions which encourage confidence.

  1. Success
  2. Validation
  3. Praise
  4. Questions of Methodology
  5. Requests to Repeat
  6. Sustained Success

Check Them Off

What made you think of the three things on your list?

  1. You have done them before, so you know you can do them well. (Success)
  2. An observer told you you did well. (Validation)
  3. Someone thanked you for the good job you did. (Praise)
  4. One who could not do it as well asked you your secrets. (Questions of Methodology)
  5. Someone asked you to do it again. (Request to Repeat)
  6. You did it well, again. (Sustained Success)

Even if you did not get all six, you got at least three. The four in the middle are external confidence boosters. We give other people the power to build and tear down our self confidence. Do note: The list begins and ends with you.

Attitude Determines Altitude.

Up at the tip top.

How you view an outcome helps determine if you will succeed. If you are determined you will be a failure, you will. You foresee your mistakes and make them any way, or you intentionally fail.

When you are unsure, you will inadvertently make mistakes. Explanation: You are worrying, which diverts your attention from the task enough to cause mistakes.

When you are confident you will succeed, even a non-perfect result is viewed as a success. Confidence does not always translate into perfect success. Β Confidence will allow you to see the good portions of the job and deem them more valuable than the mistakes. It also gives you wide berth to learn from the mistakes.

Success reinforces confidence.

It Starts With You.

M3 asked you if you had ever told someone you believed in them. Everyone who answered said they had. It is easy to see the potential in others. Telling them you see it boosts their confidence.

Now for the big question:

When was the last time you believed in yourself?

Write your answer on the bottom of your list. Let’s grade our answers according to the following scale:

Start in top blue diamond.

Can you do better?

If you did not score over 100 points, you can boost your own confidence. If you did not have three things on your list, think about the everyday things in your schedule you do well. Talk to Quaint. Ask what Quaint thinks you do well.

If you have not told yourself you believe you can do something or you believe in yourself, boost your confidence by doing one or more of the following:

  • Record on webcam: “I believe I can do anything well.”
  • Put up a note with the words I believe in myself.
    • On the refrigerator
    • On the bathroom mirror
    • On your monitor
    • In your wallet
    • On your sun visor
    • As a bookmark in your current book
    • In your closet
    • On the bathroom scale
  • Write a blog post about believing in yourself.
  • Write a journal/diary entry about increasing your confidence.
  • Write a comment to this post saying…



Can you boost your own confidence? Tell me something you do well. Let me know you believe in yourself!

(c) Ann Marie Dwyer 2012
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  1. I have confidence in myself, but have a tendency to want to boost others over myself. Maybe a subject for another post. My confidence was a hard fought battle, however. You always give me so much to think about πŸ™‚ Angie
    Angela recently posted..You may not always get what you want, but in Christ you always get what you need.My Profile

    • Red

       /  April 4, 2012

      I think you need to read my reply to Val’s comment. It is a hard fought battle; however, it is not one I see as ever truly over. Glad to get your brain perking…especially if it means a post πŸ˜‰

  2. I DO believe in myself. I can do virtually anything well if I am interested enough to do so. Curiously, that includes almost everything, and the result is that I am the typical Jack of all Trades, but also perhaps Master of None. I am working on that last category to change it to Master of Everything, and I am confident I will succeed, although I may need a raise and a corner office to conduct more research . If you don’t give me one, I’ll build it….
    Great post, Red, it made me realize how valuable my “do-everything” experience is when so many people know so little common sense stuff! “:)
    Raymond Alexander Kukkee recently posted..Political Sanctions: Punishment for Voting DemocraticallyMy Profile

    • Red

       /  April 5, 2012

      I think common sense is so undervalued. In fact, common sense allows us to overcome a lot of the arguments against being able to do things well. Master of Everything generally comes as a result of on-the-job training. Proficiency from repetition is natural. The more comments this draws, the more I am inclined to use your corner office research to delve into something tangential, but new.

  3. Awe, confidence is so important! I believe that what I do well is simplify the environment around me to figure out what is really important and what I don’t need to stress about. As I have been through very difficult circumstances I am able to prioritize and stay grounded. Good post, very thought-provoking.
    Christy Birmingham recently posted..Friendship Is A WorldMy Profile

    • Red

       /  April 7, 2012

      That is an excellent thing to be good at! I wish you could teach classes. I can think of a few (dozen) people who are in need of instruction…

  4. I’m very good at sticking my foot up someone’s a** repeatedly until they get it. Especially if they’re stuck with me for extended periods of time.

    Those who walk aren’t ready.

    • The ones who walk away are normally afraid of change or far too complacent to want to change…

      • Fear, comfortable with the way things are, living the way they feel works for them… slews of reasons and I could go on and on.

        The thing is, personally after the things I’ve experienced in life… let me put it this way, years ago I dated a guy and I had gotten into personal growth, psychology, etc., I knew that at some point, if he didn’t come with me (mentally, emotionally) he’d be left behind.

        It’s exactly what happened. His experiences in life left such a mark that it made my life unbearable and it was full of distrust (his) which created a lot of problems for ME and I wasn’t the one with the problem… well, I was, I tolerated way too much under the guise of “relationships are work” but there comes a point in a relationship that’s toxic to me where I feel worse being with them than not, they gotta go…

        It’s sad too, because anyone who has been through so much in life, and I have as well, does not have to stay a particular way. I’m not saying I don’t understand what people go through, I absolutely do… I am saying it’s really important to be around like minded people.

        Or their fears and attitudes can rub off. Aren’t I a little chatty MC today? πŸ™‚

        • I just happened to press one of your hot buttons. This is one of mine, too. The only constant is change. When we are not growing and opening the viewfinder wide, we are missing out on what could potentially be what changes our lives.

          I think toxic people should come with an eject button.

          • I like hot buttons (wink) they’re kewl… I used to hate change because it was imposed on me, yet at the same time, all those changes were things I thought I wanted and now I realize, they were actually good things. I didn’t see it at the time. πŸ™‚

            Now THAT is cool! πŸ™‚ Toxic people come with red flags and warning signs all the time. I tend to see more… not their potential but past that toxic stuff, the exterior layer that protects them and sometimes that wall’s way too thick for me to go through and then (sadly) there’s nothing we can do until they’re ready.

            I mean haaeeey! I get afraid too, I’m no different but I refuse to stay there. So, I may not get it “just right” initially but I will… that’ s the goal and the better I am the better I can be with everyone else too and THEY HAVE to come WITH! Hmmmph… I read this guys blog? And he’s 23 yrs., old, this kid is an amazement to me. I love the way he thinks.

            He calls it the Better Man Project and he’s quite the inspiring little fella. πŸ™‚ I mean that in a fond way, not condiscending.

            I want people to be happy. I can’t do it for them but THEY can! damn it. Hmmph.

          • Sometimes, being the Q-beam shining on the happiness they are standing beside is tiresome πŸ˜‰

  5. Well, now actually… I’ve also become better at knowing when to call a stalemate. Meaning, sometimes we’re not going to move forward or back so we have to let go of whatever that “something” or “someone” is…

    Basically at some point, we change direction, even if it takes a while we’ve made a decision about whatever it is…

    The other thing I’m good at is sensing things, lots of things, so really, this is about developing more confidence in what I see and sticking to it regardless of those who do not see it. Follow me? πŸ™‚

  6. Hooray ……………!!!!!!!!!!!
    best post ever i have read whilst here ……….! most educative !!!!!!!!!
    believe is a beautiful word xx
    Cat Forsley recently posted..Beautiful time in Ottawa – totally Happy Cat ….My Profile

    • I have a poem about this as well. “I believe in you” is one of the most powerful sentences we can tell anyone. <3 xxx

  7. I just checked my inbox
    and i believe in You !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i get chills …….
    yes one of the most beautiful VALIDATIONS of our existence ………….:) and the power of belief – in ourselves and our friends / family …….
    all that we love –
    well that means the world ++++++++++++++++++++++ x 1000000000000000000000000
    so goodnight
    Ethereal Lady o love
    Cat xx
    Cat Forsley recently posted..Beautiful time in Ottawa – totally Happy Cat ….My Profile

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