Erection and the FBI

The 35th edition of the Friday Follies is an M3 first. We are dedicating this post to one contestant who has proven worthy of a crown from the stupidest inbox in the blogosphere. Put the drink out of reach, this is an arm-waving, fist-shaking post. *giggles*

Red has gone and done it! 

Every M3 Reader knows where I stand on cyberbullying: The ground of intolerance. Over the course of the last monthish, there has been a bully extorting a blogger, and fellow M3 Reader, you have seen in the comments, Noeleen. If you have not been to Words Fall From My Eyes, you should stop by to take a look at her novel, a memoir, in draft.

As is the case with most memoirs, there is inevitably some player in the cast who remembers things quite differently. Such is the case with Noeleen’s memoir. She has a nameless sister, named Lana in her memoir, names changed to protect the guilty and innocent alike. That is right, guys and dolls, this person has no proper name. Good thing, too, as there is nothing she has shown to proves she is proper.

Cyber Alert!

When Lana climbed into Noeleen’s inbox, it was because her inflammatory comments had led to her being disapproved to leave any further. Join me in saying, Hoozah! for the block button. I routinely drop and delete spam comments from M3 and will continue to bomb the little wigglers into oblivion. (Hold that thought…we will get back to it.)

Noeleen was pressured by the hatemail. She posted about her feelings of unease and need of support from her readers. (Enter Red.) In support of my friend, I sent the following message in a comment on WFFME to her hatemailer:

Dear Hatemailer,

My email address is You are welcome to send me whatever you desire. I feature bullies and idiots like you who fail to see the value in the blogged word, and I do it on a weekly basis. I point out how small-minded, bigoted and stereotypical people like you are, with your half-truths and quarter understanding, your knee-jerk reactions and preposterous vitriol.

If you are wanting an audience, I am a big one. You have the bravado to bully Noeleen for doing what she is, which she does rather well (not that you could recognize quality), but do you have the courage to bring your palaver to someone who has no compunction about judging it?

The inbox is always open.

This invitation has been given to many. As luck would have it, Noeleen’s hatemailer was apparently too Internet handicapped to just email me. Instead, she “erected” (her word) a blog because she feels like she has some right to respond (in any hate-filled manner she chooses) on everyone else’s domain.

Rare Moment: Go, WordPress!!

WordPress informed her she had no right to Noeleen’s subscriber list, to comment on her blog or to demand WP take down WFFME. Yay! Someone at WP has gehetties in telling a whiner they are not entitled to censor the blogosphere.

In a frightening turn of events, Akismet stepped up to the plate to back WordPress. When this person came to M3 to spam with a link to her “blog”, she became a wiggler in the spam net. (Reinsert image of wiggler.)

What’s with the quotes?

This troll’s “blog” is nothing more than a protracted refutation of a passage (all of 6 paragraphs in a memoir of epic proportions). What is her plan?


That is right, guys and dolls. Troll says she will take down her “blog” when Noeleen “edits” her memoir (really?) to the troll’s liking.

Enter the FBI.

Since she could get no satisfaction with WP, and she is certain I (me, of all people) would not QUOTE her on Friday Follies, went to the FBI. Here it is from her diatribe (Part II that is):

Red, in the case of you and the Heretic, I have forwarded copies of your comments to the Internet crime section of the FBI, as you have both threatened harm to a person who is completely unknown to you.  That makes you both undesirables and dangerous people.  Neither of you even knew the true nature of my quarrel with Noeleen (until now).  I have contempt for the pair of you.  As stated previously, I won’t be viewing your imbecilic sites.  I have contempt for the pair of you and wouldn’t give you the time of day, let alone waste my time and strain my eyesight ploughing through your online dribble.  Why don’t you both get out into the real world and form friendships and human bonds in the ‘normal’ way?  Neither of you even knows Noeleen, let alone me.  Only two of Noeleen’s commenters seem to have an ounce of intelligence, possessing the gift of neutrality and non-judgmentalism and an awareness that they might not have the full picture before them – but you two drongos are not them.

[Redacted large threat to Heretic]

When you “ridicule’ me on your site, you should also post my comments in the interests of fairness, but you wouldn’t, would you.  Can’t take a challenge or a diverging view.  I call you a coward and a cretin – and I have reported you to the FBI, along with Red.  I deplore the fact that I have been drawn into erecting my own web site and dealing with Jerry-Springer-audience-type characters.”

Welcome to Friday Follies! No, I did not add the emphasis. Troll did that all on her own. She did not view M3, but she did come to leave her spam on Muse for Monday. Shame, too, because had she read it, she could have seen herself in it.

Do not fear about The Heretic. Your fellow M3 Reader is holding his own version of the Friday Follies at his podcast. Check him out! Sailor talk included for punctuation. Illustrations provided…including the threat I redacted.

Not Yet….

Since this is normally the portion of Friday Follies where I ask you to get out your AK-47s and weapons of mass destruction, I have to let you in on the abbreviated portion of my first retort to her. (Insert wicked laughter.) Do note, I was able to refrain from my Grammar Nazism.

I wondered if you would ever get around to contacting any of us. I love it! I am on a first name basis with many in the FBI Internet crime division. I am afianced to a law enforcement officer. I am certain he will get a good laugh out of your threatening me with police action and internet crime.

[…]Given there are no other comments on your blog and Heretic got here before I did, I feel safe in the assumption you are deleting all which are not apologetic. It is your venue, but my response is saved, as you have just awarded yourself a spot in my Friday Follies.

Perhaps, you can take your own advice and get a life. All of the people you accuse in this post of harming you have done no such thing. In fact, Valentine Logar was correct. You are very jealous. Otherwise, you would not have chosen to “erect” this blog to air your grievances. Perhaps, you do not have the chutzpah to write a book.

Either way, you are the Internet riffraff which makes my job so enjoyable.

A bientot!

Yes, indeed, it is not just I who have been summoned to her diatribe. She douses all bloggers with gasoline and lights them ablaze in her condemnation of the “WWW”. You see, in Troll’s estimation, we all are unable to “form friendships and human bonds in the ‘natural way’ ” and are attention-seeking imbeciles in need of “internet fame”.

(Pardon me for the slight delay in our programming. I needed to pick myself back up off the floor. Bwahahaha!)

Not done yet!

She responded that I was an ass for assuming, yet follows that statement with the following gem:

I assumed that all comments would be posted instantly to my blog, but, surprisingly, they were not. I had to log in to my blog and “approve” the comments before they were posted.”

Wow! Perhaps, if she had read this “imbecilic site”, she would have known to read the directions. (Only the latest link to the long line of posts about time management and life fulfillment)

Want one better?

She suggested I (Red Dwyer, fellow of Merriam Webster) read the dictionary.

(I will now pause our programming to allow you to pick yourself back up off the floor! Take a sip, and set the drink back off to the side. We are moving on…)

Okay, NOW!!!

We are going on a field trip to her erection. Let’s go invade trolldom. You will find many bloggers who are part of the M3 Readers and members on your own blogs and those you visit. Even my sister was not above being flamed on this troll’s blog.

Be aware of these things: 

  1. Troll is redacting and changing her flaming according to the intelligent (and snarky) responses she has gotten so far from those of us unwilling to be a victim.
  2. Troll has no concept of the difference between rights and privileges, nor any sense of publishing protocol or ettiquette.
  3. Troll is a name-caller. (Shudder in your boots…hurry.)
  4. Troll is (also) a contestant because she only reads titles.


  • The first post is irrelevant. It is her refutation of items which are truly none of our concern. They are a family matter. Please ignore it.
  • If you do choose to read the first post, please skip to the portions where she disparages all bloggers as mentally defective, addicted and so forth.
  • Read her threats and accusations on the second post.

And best suggestion of all….

Speak out against cyberbullying and censorship!

No need to bring flame retardant or pepper spray, but let’s give her a crash course in minding her manners. She came to M3 to get you to come to her “blog” and thinks all of the M3 audience should know Red is a threat to her physically, mentally, emotionally and a threat to her pristine, peaceful, private personal reputation.

They are quite sharp.

All I can say is this:

When you tangle with the beast, do not be surprised when you get the horns and the hooves.”

I would never bite her. I am certain she is an inbox crazy who has not had her shots.


I hope your week has been free of hatemail, shotless crazies, trolls and cyber bullies. Thank you for joining me for the 35th edition of the Friday Follies from the stupidest inbox in the blogosphere. Until next week, I hope you have a terrific weekend!

Leave me a description of this troll in 50 words or less. What do you think of censoring memoirs? Can some Internet savvy M3 Reader please explain to me the “right of response”, especially given there is no due process in the blogosphere?

When you tweet and +1 this post, please use the hashtags #censorship and #cyberbullying. Many thanks to my SM fans!

(c) Red Dwyer 2012
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  1. Some people truly need therapy.
    Red Tash recently posted..PhotoMy Profile

    • No doubt. There are more references in the comments for her to get help than on most of the self-help blogs I visit. Shame all of that advice will slide down the loo. *shrugs*

    • Thank you so much, Red Tash. I am grateful you see. I feel powerless & can only let it happen.
      Noeleen recently posted..Ugh! You’re kidding! Buggar!My Profile

  2. smh… i don’t think I can take anymore. I am parked, my finger over post comment on her site, with a not too scathing comment, actually friendly looking advice that she has really gotten in a muck considering her choice of targets…oh boy you could not pay me to start shit like that and then stay there and take the heat… i would not start it to one of those who commented there.. much less the lot of you – many is the time I have been thankful I am so sweet and easy to love 🙄

    SO i gave her some pity.. told her any definition for troll will do (she doesn;t understand it) and to go away if she has any sense. Then I dared her to be nasty to me because I am sick to death of turd balls like this little pebble that slipped out of an animals butt… but I am not a bully just will respond to one as they choose to speak to me then I will bring on the shit talk and wave around a can of whoop ass (just to give her the idea ) I told her she is ridiculous. that is true and fair. I might have used one or two big words.. was that wrong? I might have used one or two incorrectly just to… oh the guilt…

    Sorry. Its not easy being green. I didn’t write that there. I am just disgusted. What the hell is the Matter with people? I suppose this is me doing what I want not to do,,, getting riled up but I have had it. With ignorant hurtful people who don’t take the time to examine their own actions and motives. I will rant and rave every now and then but I’ll be damned if I would hurt someone on purpose -I can tell you of less than 3 times I have set out to so something like that – or to .. sigh… I’m tired the ones who will listen know already – the ones who need to know don;t hear…

    I would like to take the mental moments….and cram them down her throat, but she still wouldn’t get it.

    Lizzie Cracked recently posted..Friday Mid-Afternoon or Much Later Mental MomentMy Profile

    • You are right, Lizzie. The ones who need the advice the most are the ones who never get there. As always, you have hit the nail squarely. So I have to ask, considering Clyde is an orang, is this our monkey connection? <3 {HUGZ}

      PS And what you told her was very nice.

    • Lizzie, hi. I just want to say I’m gobsmacked by Red’s efforts here, and (madly) actually comforted.

      I have not ever intended misinformation, I have not lied – my past I have diaries of but they are diaries of feelings, not what happened; my time with Daniel in infancy I have diaries of & therefore are completely inescapably accurate.

      My sister “Wendy” MONTHS AGO pointed out to me one inaccuracy re our stepmother Gloria, saying she did stand up & face her (but I could not remember anything but the fact she was so cool, so calm about a knife waving about her face) & I said WITHOUT HER ASKING that I would change that bit, as ADMITTEDLY I HAD USED POETIC LICENCE BECAUSE my memory was of how cool she was – not the detail of her standing up facing the knife-waving stepmother. I will redraft, IN MY TIME, and I have welcomed “Wendy” to point out any other inaccuracies she sees – she has not since pointed out one, but did point out a “lie” that I had said IN COMMENT, when my car was broken down, ho-hum it was so tiresome carrying all the washing to the laundromat & back. I HAD COMMENTED THAT ON A MORNING when “Wendy” rang later & offered to give me & the washing a lift home, plus visit me.

      I have no intention to lie, I may have some different recall of incidences as they have impacted on me & used poetic licence, I’ve welcomed “Wendy” to keep an eye out for any such instances, & I will redraft in my time, but not on offensive demand – “Lana” has written me (probably because of all this she’s copping) that she wishes I would hang myself & hopes I rot in hell. These emails I received after a 7-day stay in a rehab centre. I am very, very worn down by something “Lana” has created, heightened & continues to drive with fervour.
      Noeleen recently posted..Love or AmmunitionMy Profile

      • “therefore are completely inescapably accurate.” I have to add, as you saw it. Many of the things we see are not as they appear. What is true is our perception of them. Like I said in my other comment to you, although you wrote down the feelings and events at the time, what you wrote is what is relevant to you (and Daniel). While other bit players in the cast may have viewed things differently from the other side of the stage, your memories are precisely that…yours.

  3. Good grief, this is a whole ‘nuther level. Amazing people. (I think most of my readers must be happily drunk.)
    Liquorstore Bear recently posted..Holy crap, are we moving to Utah?My Profile

    • Just when you were sure there was no way to find more trolls, eh? I think I need to stop by your place to see what my drink-oscope says 😉

    • So glad you can see, Liquorstore Bear – I am relieved it’s not “just me”. My son says I take too much from my sister. He has a strong disregard for her, is bluntly rude in speak of her because “you’re too soft, Mum”.
      Noeleen recently posted..Love or AmmunitionMy Profile

  4. Blimey I have a week off from my Space and all hell breaks loose, and with yet another loon on the block, there seems to be no shortage of these creeps but never mind the straight jackets are being readied and the skeletons have sharpened a few bones for a game of Skewering of Wickedness.

    Where do these fiends spring up from? My ghouls and zombies are a friendlier bunch and they have good manners, unlike some visitors and readers of our blogs…

    A great posting that highlights the ridiculousness of some peeps right on our own Spaces… A Cattle-Prod Anyone? 🙂 lmao

    Have a great evening Red 🙂 😉

    Androgoth XXx

    • I have just read all the comments on ‘X’ blog and while I do not agree with her flaming remarks on some of our friends analysis, I can identify with some of what she is retorting against, we all read blogs and respond to them based upon whatever is written, often we do this without first checking out what has previously been said prior to our comments as I did with my earlier mention.

      I can see what ‘X’ is talking about regarding pointers towards her that are personal, such as with the avowal of ‘Eldest Sister’ within a posting but in the same token adding tit-for-tat exchanges with commenter’s of Noeleen’s blog that do not know ‘X’ is in itself a nonsense as everyone adds their observations based on what they have read, indeed the majority of passersby unless familiar with Noeleen’s Space would more often than not fail to respond, we all see this on a daily basis on our own sites with bloggers clicking on the ‘Like’ option instead of adding a remark being that not everyone reads the full posting or that they simply do not feel comfortable in offering a response, either way comments upon our offerings are often left wanting.

      The main thing here is that our concerns are for Noeleen’s full recovery and wellbeing based upon our friendships, what we have read about her life so far, her many struggles, and even though mentions of ‘X’ are sometimes offered we do not know whom Noeleen refers to and so we, her blogging friends react to whatever is offered, but at all times thinking of Noeleen and forever wishing to be as supportive as we can, in essence we offer an opinion regarding what has been offered in a blog and nothing more.

      I hope that I have made myself clear on this one and that I am not taking sides either way, it is just a reflection on what I have read tonight…

      Have a wonderful rest of evening Red 🙂 🙂

      Androgoth XXx

      • I honestly believe she missed that in all the flaming and ranting. We could care less about her personal whatever it was. In fact, what our concern is and remains is the perspective is only offered for us to put Noeleen’s life into context…not to judge any of the puppet players. I liken the entire affair to those who believe stating opinion should be censored at all costs on the grounds it may offend one person. Hence, the spot in the Friday Follies. I shan’t be bothered any longer with those unwilling or incapable of proper perspective.

        And a fine reflection you have added to this post, my friend. Have a wonderful morning!

    • I think electric fences were in order, certainly. My evening has been marvelous. I hope yours has been as well!

      • I have been glued to the television watching the Olympic Games, which is the reason for my lack of posting and commenting of late but as there are only another five days of the games I will be back plugging away and trying to catch up on some of your many postings.

        This one is amongst your finest though all are very interesting to me and offer awareness, not just for me but for everyone that cares to read them from start to finish, I find a lot of commenter’s only click on the ‘Like’ or add a comment based upon what others have previously written as observations, which in my view spoils the whole concept of posting.

        I guess that time is a factor when reading postings but it is best to call back to give a better response rather than add a comment based upon others ideas just because of time issues, sadly this happens all too often judging by some of the feedback that I read but that is just an opinion and perhaps I shouldn’t be so opinionated.

        Right I will add this one next and hope that I have not left any of those dreaded typos 🙁

        Have a wonderful rest of evening Red 😉

        Androgoth XXx

        • Call me crass, but if I haven’t the time to read, I haven’t the time to navigate beyond the like button. If I have nothing on point to say, I would only make myself look foolish and disparage the effort which went into the post. Frankly, I have far more manners than that!

          Great to see you this evening. I hope you enjoy the rest of your programming 😉

    • Andro, thank you so, so much. So sincerely, I do. Like I’ve just commented above, since returning from rehab, “Lana’s” emails to me wish I would hang myself and burn in hell… and so much more.

      Thank you so much, you see what it actually is.

      N’n xx
      Noeleen recently posted..Love or AmmunitionMy Profile

  5. I have no patience for bloggers who have nothing better to do than blow hot air and waste everyone’s time. Since they are so full of themselves, given time, they might simply explode or fall off their soapbox. Or, with any luck, get set straight when they duel with Red.
    tess kann recently posted..I Was Born This WayMy Profile

    • I hope she enjoys it, as I am done. She will do what she will do, but flaming sites never last very long. They burn up the audience. She has yet to give a cogent response, so I am call this one in the win column. <3

    • Thank you, Tess, I can’t see this comment any way but supportive.

      It is not a nice fact, but it is true my sister is long (LONG) term unemployed – I think on a disability pension now, mental issues – & no, she has not anything better to do with her life. Even so, this is enormously hurtful to me, very aggressively cruel to me. But thanks you don’t have tolerance for such.
      Noeleen recently posted..Ugh! You’re kidding! Buggar!My Profile

      • Look on the bright side, Noeleen. Perhaps in her spewing and spouting (and all the spanking from the commenters which go along with her trolling and flaming) she may well come to grips with some of it. Nearly everyone there wished her healing, mental health, peace or some other way of coping with her apparent hurt. Remember what I told you about relatives and family… <3

  6. OH RED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I have come back from my week away & have been devastated by the vitriol, her wish I would hang myself etc in my inbox. I am actually feeling depressed, & am finding it difficult to bounce back. I have spent all of last night (though did sleep 2.30am-5.05am) writing up a Statement of Claim as I am going to engage a lawyer to get a restraining order out on her for (attempting to) defame me overall but distinctly to my subscribers, as she has made some truly outrageous claims but I am not, not going to enter into it.

    When I have done with the Statement of Claim and engagement of lawyer, which obviously will affect Daniel & my life by its cost addition to my credit card debt, I will let them handle it and get back to writing.

    It is truly, truly awful such spouts from my sister when I have in fact kept her anonymity the whole way – meanwhile she said she was “buying a computer” to “compute at my leisure day and night” (while I’m at work) about me and Daniel – DANIEL DESERVES TO MAINTAIN HIS PRIVACY. I have told him myself, I won’t post any pictures of him past toddler age.

    Daniel says to me “You say you’re strong but you let the fat lady get to you” & asks why it matters & I say “Because she’s my SISTER”, but he still doesn’t get it. Man, that boy (thanks to his upbringing!) doesn’t take any bullshit.

    Red, my deepest thanks. You can’t imagine, now at 7.46am and about to wake Daniel and finish my Statement later (sighhhhhhh) just HOW much reading all this meant to me. Truly, I never wanted my blog to be a negative; any inaccuracies I detect will be fixed in REDRAFT IN MY OWN TIME not at her command; and I will get my mojo back and get a restraining order out on her.

    Sincere thanks from me, and I am certain, Daniel.
    Noeleen recently posted..Ugh! You’re kidding! Buggar!My Profile

    • To be frank, the defamation is a non-starter. Merely get her to stop contacting you. She will be hard pressed to prove she has been the innocent. Her claims were it not for you she would not have had the traffic are patently false. Her trolling caused what she has gotten. Her audience with me is done. I informed her she was not welcome here. She spouts off and proves she neither appreciates nor understands what the truth of the publishing world holds: The story is different by the teller. IOW, you and I and Red and Andro and Val could all have the same story. We could have seen the precise same event. Each one of us will write it differently based on the elements which struck us.

      This concept is prevalent in every family. Siblings simply remember things based on their maturity level and the faulty mechanism the brain uses to form memories, especially hurtful ones.

      I shall not be wasting one more keystroke in her efforts. Red Tash and I have both had trolls like her before. She gave you good advice. Filter all of her email into a folder where you cannot see it. Do not open it or read it. Anyone she reaches will come to you site to see what you are about…which is free publicity. You are surrounded by people who support you.

      ENOUGH OF THIS: How are you?!!! You have been gone a week! What did you learn? When are you going to blog about it? Are you putting up your vid from last week?

      OK, I shall stem the questions…for now 🙂 <3 Missed you, chickadee! xxx

  7. Ah Red, thank you AGAIN! I have NOT had any trolls or this kind of negative stuff in the whole (one year now) that I’ve been putting the FIRST DRAFT out there, testing interest/relatability/does it inspire…

    Hmmm, free publicity. That’s OK then! Yes, I will put up the video & get back to WHERE I WANT TO BE: my story, relating with other people around the world. However, I don’t feel free to until I finish my Statement of Claim (this reply is late bec had to go out for an appointment). When you see the video up, you’ll know I’ll be dealing with “Lana” no more: will be in the hands of lawyers & they’ll have all the facts & evidence. I should be done in a couple more hours.


    N’n. xx
    Noeleen recently posted..Ugh! You’re kidding! Buggar!My Profile

  8. Wow. I’d say I miss a lot when I step away all summer, but I miss a lot from you when I step away for a day.
    It is sad how far some people will go to try to prove a point. It seems she only looked like an idiot in doing so.
    She should really hook up with my crazy guy.
    Lorre recently posted..SEX THIS YEAR Threatens Stay-at Home Mom with Disabled Child Living Paycheck to PaycheckMy Profile

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