Blasphemously Bad Follies

If you were one who voted for Follies instead of turkey this Thanksgiving, settle in, but set the eggnog off to the side. It is super sticky and murder to get off your screen. This is the special 47th edition of the M3 Friday Follies…for Thanksgiving.

Poetically Backward

Many of you who read Bad had already read the poem which was referenced in the first paragraph. Blindness was on point because it speaks of the judgments we can easily make, regardless of our ability to see the truth. (Link opens in another tab, so you will not lose your place.

Hatemailing from Saskatchewan, Julienne was positive I was fishing… without bait.

There’s nothing wrong with seeing fault in others. Some people need you to tell them when they are awful. You especially.”

And especially from you?

I see what you are doing wrong.

While there is nothing inherently wrong with finding fault, it is necessary to not throw rocks in glass houses. I feel quite certain your unmitigated finding of fault with my association of Blindness with the hyperbole in Bad is indicative of your utopian existence. Would you direct me to your blog/website where you espouse and expound upon your utopian principles in the spirit of common good?

Do not bother Googling. There is nothing to find. Pity. It may have made either a good advertising client or a great Follies subject.

Culturally Unsound

How often am I called down for my definitions? Often enough I have a subscription to the dictionary, despite having four such books at my fingertips. Yes, I know I am odd, having read them.

Up to challenge such knowledge comes Jasper, hatemailing from Tennessee. So far, you should not have a clue as to his complaint about my definitions. I had to read it three times to not stop to laugh. Want some highlights?

In today’s society, that you are damming, “bad” is used to mean good. You cannot make something bad when bad means good because all you are going to do is confuse people…Bad is not just a slang term. It is for all kinds of things like meaning “really good” and “cool” and “sexy”. What is sexy about what you are describing?…Why not call it “dead”or “over” or “destroyed” cause you are not describing anything bad here.”

It has been a long time since I was in Tennessee, but my sister, who lives in a holler in Tennessee, assures me there is not much urban culture in the state. Methinks he is a transplant… or needs one.

Over the years, I have come to realize the murder of the English language proper by those who believe the use of antonyms and monosyllabic words to represent common words and complex principles in an attempt at defining generational identity is indicative of a lack of genuine passion for creation and a resounding conviction of sloth.

On the other hand, those who choose the incorrect homophone to iterate positions or evince clandestine knowledge is a demonstrative exhibition of ignorance. The irony such individuals self-righteously attempt to convict others of impropriety with scripting of all sorts certainly is not lost on me.

Was that sexy enough? Or should I have pointed out his beaver, too?

Religiously Ignorant

Tess had a poignant realization, which occurred to a hatemailer; albeit, the thoughts were distant cousins, thrice removed.

I knew there was absolutely no way I would make a post with the term utopia and skirt the zealots. Enter Charliza. Hatemailing from the holy state of New York, Charliza felt the need to educate me.

How can you blaspheme this way and no one comment on how offensive you are? Utopia is not imaginary. It has existed and we threw it away in search of Knowledge. This heathenistic article just shows you are part of the reason it does not exist any more. We did not need the Knowledge. We just needed to trust God to take care of us and we could still be in Eden.”

Holy delusions, Batman!

I have been told by many I look really good for my age, but I have never been paid so high a compliment. Do you think anyone else suspects I am Lilith?

I think I need a new snake. A constrictor. She could use it as a muffler.

Occupationally Challenged

One doctor came to chastise me for my use of the caduceus. Apparently, Dr. R was disturbed I would use such a blatant misrepresentation of his/er profession. Hatemailing from Connecticut, Dr. R had this to scream.

What an egregious misrepresentation of the medical field. How dare you disparage the storied history of the caduceus by portraying it in such a horrific way? Medicine is a noble profession that strives to relieve suffering wherever it exists. You should be ashamed for putting those dragons around those tattered wings.”

Want to bet he buys Playboy© for the articles?

I completely understand why you took up medicine rather than history. Mercury was the guide of the dead. He also represented the shepherd, merchants, liars, gamblers and thieves.

Your American heritage is clearly on display with your apparent miscarriage of history, which predates the medical community’s 200-year-old misinterpretation of a symbol used for nearly 4,000 years to mean something entirely different. I would point out it comes from the medical community being math-challenged to all numbers without trailing zeroes. Why would you know the difference between one and two?

On second thought, perhaps you personally are using it as it was initially intended. Which are you: liar, gambler or thief? Given your profession, my guess is all three.

If you think customer service is dead, can you imagine going to this person for medical treatment? Why do we graduate people who cannot read? My guess? There are picture menus from the drive-thru under the seats of his/er Jaguar™.

Premature Dissatisfaction

We have often been regaled by those who did not get past the title. Such is not the case with our next hatemailer, Nadia. Hatemailing from Wisconsin (someone needs to remind me to unplug from their cloud), she had a problem with my motives.

The absolute evillest. Circa 04MAY12

You have to be on some FBI watchlist somewhere. Only a terrortist could come up with a world where all those diseses runs wild. when the world comes to an end I hope they come looking for you.”

Who? My fellows? I decided to attach my portrait to the hatemail you pen back to her. What shall we send to Nadia?

~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you have enjoyed the Thanksgiving version of the M3 Friday Follies. This special 47th edition from the stupidest inbox in the blogosphere comes with our special wish everyone be thankful they are not constant recipients of hatemail.

What shall we send to Nadia?

Happy Thanksgiving from the cast behind M3.

Compliments of Little V

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