Day 11: Inlaws & Outlaws


If I told you about my family, we would be here all day. Truly.


Let’s look at simply the outline.

1. Grandparent

2. Parents (lots of sets)

3. Siblings (8 of 9 left)

4. Children (9 of 10 left)

5. Grandchildren 3

Already, we are talking about more 30 people before we get out of my immediate bloodline. I write about my children regularly, so we are not going to discuss them.

My parents like privacy. (Reason #41 in the PRO found me in a bassinet in the neighbor’s salon argument.)

My husbands are in a graveyard near you. Except for one, who we have already discussed.

You have met the grandparents I claim. So, we are not going to talk about the only one of that generation not to kindly bow out with any kind of alacrity or decorum.

My grandsons are too young for me to feel comfortable sharing a ton about them online, and one has been removed from online entirely.

That leaves my siblings. I grew up with them in varying degrees. There, we talked about them.


I have been a firm advocate of the adage:

Blood makes relatives. Loyalty makes family.”

Loyalty is something my family shows cyclically. As is common, life intrudes on the best laid plans. In events of true need, they are there. If it is something I can handle on my own, they rarely know about it until it comes up in conversation years later.

I live 900 miles from my family. I have a sister who is only 500 miles away, as the crow flies, but she is not in a position to come to me in any event. So, where is the loyalty of which I speak?

Hatemail logo

In the SIB

My primary lifeline is the stupidest inbox in the blogosphere. Despite a plethora of inbox idiots, ne’erdowells and Lotharios, some of the most loyal people who support me are email companions I have never see eyeball-to-eyeball. They fill my inbox with jokes, pictures of wonderful places and hideodorous people and drop in just to ask if I am still okay.

They represent between eight and 300 emails per day.


ad200silveronwhiteThe company who keep company with my company is the cream of the crop. Although members fall into other categories than merely this one, even the solo members have an indelible place in my family. I take care of them with the same attention to detail I use in my home. They are an integral part of my day and my life. They stand beside me as we venture into mal-charted waters, are willing to bloody the water on the other side of the boat and are all hands on deck when we are pulling in a haul.

They are a constant source of support.

They all live in my CrackBerry.

They all live in my CrackBerry.


The next most loyal of my friends are those who have no idea what time zone I am in at any given point in time. They ring and answer at all hours of the day and night. Even when the call is nothing more than a gritch session about the travesty du jour, they are there for stabilization, endorsement, validation and commiseration. Once we are done with all of that, they are really good at being sounding boards for gauging the likelihood my resolution is unlawful, immoral or perfect. The or is always debatable.

They are worth every penny I pay for the 7,500 minutes per month I burn on average. Plus, a few thousand texts.


There is only one person in my life who falls into all three categories and still is someone I can count on in the FAB world. We share things like fetish shoes, decadence, culture, gentility, art, intolerance of stupidity, survival others misunderstand, compassion and passion.

She reminds me I am different. She also convinces me I am the same, so I can know I am not totally alone.


I love you.

Have you a friend who is family? Have you said so?

Hashtags: #30daychallenge #friendship #family

© Red Dwyer 2013
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  1. I don’t know how I missed this one but it’s a brilliant posting and what a great looking picture of Val too 🙂 🙂 Have a lovely evening Red 🙂

    Andro xxxx


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