What do I see?

Sometimes, no matter how much effort we expend, objects in the mirror are precisely as they appear. No, they are not seen at an 85° down angle. They are blunt, frontal, unadulterated.


We open ourselves up to others’ rebuke and reproach the moment we put ourselves on display. Whether our mode of exposure is social media or a gathering, our mere presence is sufficient for others to weigh in on us, any and all facets of us.

Human nature, or merely learned behavior, leads us to put best face forward. Yes, most say “foot”. In fact, the truth is “face”.

There will always be a part we withhold from the world. It makes us vulnerable in one way or the other. We consider our hidden facet either a weakness or shameful. In the first place, we assume judgment will be harsh if we bare the truth. In the second, judgment passed already, ours or theirs.


We could just as easily be the open book, neither hiding parts nor displaying cherry-picked facets. Our risk assessment is key to how much we reveal. If we feel the risk outweighs the reward, we hold back. To what end?

By design, revolution is bloody. If we take the risk to show our vulnerable side, by definition we are open to hurt. Hurt leads to scars. Scars are proof we survived.

What about room for error? We are routinely surprised by the commonality we find with our peers and Quaint. Have we carefully enough accounted for the possibility our vulnerability is shared? The chance is ever present we could find a kindred spirit whose discovery would mitigate all risk with tremendous reward.

How much weight did we give the inevitable discovery? At some point, we are going to fail at hiding the vulnerable spot. When our friends and family discover our secret, how negatively is it going to impact everyone involved?

Trust is costly. It is comprised entirely of emotional capital. Once trust is damaged, no amount of investment will restore it entirely to the level at it originally maintained.

Nothing ventured…

How much stress would disappear if we were blatantly honest about our stances, feelings and beliefs? How many others would we find if we sent up a flare? How much more peaceful would our lives be if we were true to ourselves, chose wisely those to leave behind and those to embrace, and strengthened our bonds to others?

How much more empowered are we when we know where we stand? When we discover who is faithfully by our side, accepting of our true character and tolerant of our differences, we have stronger relationships. How much more trust do we engender by being honest, especially with a truth which does not provide immediate endorsement?

Seems like an awful lot to gain, even at the cost of losing those with whom we are not as aligned as we have given credit.

What keeps us from baring our true selves? With so much to gain, what would it take for us to find others who share our vulnerability?

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  1. What keeps us from complete honesty, at any level, is the same as in any other area of human action, i.e., fear. For me, that’s been clear a long time; doesn’t mean I always succeed perfectly. We all have failures of spirit at times, even when we know we’re doing it. I suppose it’s a matter of training one’s self in mindfulness, as well as having a clear idea of our own fears…

    What it takes is, at least initially, the courage to learn, which often entails abandoning old ideas or beliefs, always difficult for humans, until the advantages are understood as real… Have to say, too, it’s never as easy as it sounds…

    Hmm… a bit pompous, but, obscurely charming, for a rapid semi-analysis. Ah, well, we can’t all be Twain, or, Pascal, or Red…


    • Ah, yes. Why is everyone so afraid to be a maggot? Sans filter is such a freeing way of life. I remember someone telling me it would make me lonely. It lead to my first screen name: jadedxcentric Ignorance would have one read it as “eccentric”. Bwahaha! Great to see you. Check out the post before this one if you have moment. Snuggles to Leelu. xxx

  2. All to true. Vulnerability is one of the more frightening of emotions. Putting ourselves out there, hard to do especially where each has history.

    Stepping over those self imposed lines, we have to take risks. Risks, though frequently worth the leap of faith.

    I love you.

    • Omelet making. Most of us have risk assessment as a facet of our careers. Me? The mainsail is the caution I have thrown to the wind. I love you, too <3

  3. Gail Thornton

     /  June 27, 2017

    I’m in a situation where I need to risk my vulnerability in order to be able to get closer to a new friend. It’s a huge deal to me. I’m not usually so guarded, but this friendship means so much to me. Today I am going to risk more in the hope of getting closer.

    Gail xxx

    • That is fabulous! Making a new (or even better) friend is always exciting and rewarding. Much luck and love <3

  4. So, let us not be vulnerable, for we are all whom we are, if someone doesn’t like us then so be it. I suppose this approach is alien to some people but for me I don’t really care what others think, after all if one isn’t willing to take a leap of faith towards me then in the same token, why should I bother to step forwards?

    Life is too short for worrying about other peoples thoughts, first impressions and so on. I know a lot of people look in my direction and instantly judge me, life is like that so that’s fine, but it’s fairer to always give people a chance.

    A great posting Red 🙂

    Andro xxx

    • Such is the conundrum. The initial unwillingness to put ourselves forward is as self-defeating as attempting to please everyone simultaneously. I have always known better to put myself out there and find the one person worth having than to remain cloistered. Further, I walk away from those judgmental types with a lilt in my step. xxxx


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