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    Red Dwyer - Author

    Red Dwyer’s Killing us Softly is a monumental book of heartfelt and practical advice for getting through and surviving the onslaught of cancer and death of a spouse.
    With the use of real time journal entries and blog posts, the author reaches out to readers in a unique way to guide them through all the emotions, responsibilities, and processes of being the caretaker of a marriage partner.
    Self-care and the care of the children are her primary focus, as she becomes the sole head of household and cup of love for her dying spouse and surviving family of nine children, three of whom are autistic.
    The book is supremely well-balanced in a way that has never been offered to the public before. The journal entries and blog posts draw us into her intimate life as she grieves privately yet exhibits her strength throughout and beyond the dying process. The focus is on helping the reader maneuver through the seemingly herculean feats of love and physical care which are assigned to the surviving spouse once the diagnosis of cancer is definite.
    From discussion on diagnosis and decisions to be made, through treatment and endgame, Red Dwyer holds our hand and shares with us her advice for not only surviving but also claiming our lives as we traverse this difficult and often hidden journey. She discusses the role of spirituality in the lives of the caretaking spouses, and the details of cancer treatment as a partner in the comfort of her loved one.
    Almost all of us are faced with treatment options at end of life, and many of us don’t face them until we are feeble and sick and not entirely in a place to make those decisions. While cancer has specific decisions to be made, Dwyer discusses the choices we all make when faced with extended treatment of a terminal illness or allowing nature to take its course.
    From diagnosis to hospice care, endgame and beyond, this author will be ultimately helpful to millions, who before this point have persevered and survived in silence.

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    So, I have a question... What made you? I bet your answer will be longer than you expect. mommasmoneymatters.com/what-made-you/ ... See MoreSee Less

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    • I have more than 5,000 contacts. I have more than 5,000 contacts. Red commented on Momma's Money Matters: Vote in the poll...There are quite a few who are reading your blog... May 18, 2012 21:30
  • Helping Keep the Power On

  • And Now For Something Completely Different.

Time to Sit Up

The sixth official month of M3 is over. Six months with the title blogger and 475 posts in the files. By industry standard, M3 is two years old. I have made some discoveries along the way. A few of which can make the path smoother. A few of which will make you point and laugh. I will let you figure out which is which.

Yeah, yeah. I followed the directions.

Far be it from me to preach to others about following the directions, but the fact remains, read the instructions. Just as you would when you assemble a piece of disposable furniture, knowing how Tab B and Slot A should be combined is assumed important. Even if you did not do it before you started, it is worth a read. Partly.


Have you heard any of these?

  • You want your blog to be found.
  • Find your niche.
  • Research your keywords.
  • Find long tails.

Barf. Homework. I did all of this. You know what no one told me?

  • Demographics of your audience
  • What do they want to hear/discuss/learn?
  • Stop taking yourself so seriously.
  • No pigeon holes.

If you are looking to blog a service, as in this is the only thing you know anything about, by all means, check out who your competition is going to be. Strategize. Blog. Go back to start and begin again.

If you are looking to blog, make friends, make a fortune blogging, sell a few ads…skip that stuff. At least in the beginning.

Who are you?

This is a two-fold question.

A.) Who are you…the blogger?

B.) Who are you…the blog reader?

A.) If you are an aircraft mechanic, chances are decent starting a blog about tatting (This is the art of making lace, people.) is likely an ill-advised choice. The majority of writers will tell you to write what you know. For a blog, this is fantastic advice. You do not want to spend hours researching a post which will likely never see the light of day after its initial die-down.

B.) You need to answer this one as well. Who did you invite to read your blog? No, not who did you tweet your blog. Who did you invite? *Ugh*


Mere guess, mind you: You did not start a blog without passing the idea before a friend or twelve. Did you ask any of them to visit? Did they? What do you mean you do not know? (Takes a deep breath. Twice.)

In Writing

Those people you invited should have RSVP’d.

No. They should not have commented on Facebook or replied to your tweet or merely +1’d your post. They should have commented on your blog. Hits are important, but interaction is even more important. It pleases the search engine spiders when they crawl your blog to find the pages bigger with comments…especially when they crawl ancient pages and find new comments.


When you are traveling the blogosphere, you are likely going to go to the places where you read things in your groove (not niche, not yet). Cruising places of interest means you have a likelihood the blogger will be interested in what you have to say. This may well be your most important reader. Why are they not reading your blog? Did they know you were there? Wait…did you read the last paragraph?

Be seen when you visit. If you have nothing constructive to say, like something, follow or look around for something where you can comment more than a spam net hook… Great post! gets you in the spam filter on every single blog platform…even if you have previously made a comment on the blog.

You Showed Up!

What did you do when that blogger stopped by to see what you strung together into a post?

  1. Nothing
  2. Commented back
  3. Started a discussion
  4. Listened and posted subsequent to the comments

In order…

  1. D’oh
  2. Good
  3. Better
  4. Evolution

1. You lost a reader. Readers hate to be ignored. Who shops in a store with no sales clerks or cashiers?

2. Your reader will probably come back the next time you leave a comment at his/her blog.

3. Your reader came back to the same post…again, realized you might have a grasp of your topic, might have found you personable (or irritating enough to continue to berate), and a relationship was born.

4. Your blog took a step into being its own creation away from the niche you picked out.

Now, it may be time to go back to all those techno instructions about keywords and long tails. And definitely time to start marketing your blog. Next time, we are going to discuss some of the finer points in marketing your blog (and your books and albums) without paying for marketing or driving your friends and family to stab your voodoo doll.

Is your blog a niche blog? Are you keyword driven? Do you like strangers at your blog or are you more comfortable with the people whose blogs you read? What question would you like to see answered next?

Hashtags: #blogging #SEO #getread

Thank you for sharing The M3 Blog with hashtags.

© Red Dwyer 2012
Re-Blogging of this or any other post on The M3 Blog
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  1. Wise woman.
    I just love to write and blogging seemed accessible. I always wanted to be a writer growing up and now, with the internet, I can be a writer that is seen. If people want to read my blog.
    lorrelee1970 recently posted..Friday Frenzy (5/18/12)My Profile

    • Red

       /  May 18, 2012

      Vote in the poll…There are quite a few who are reading your blog…

  1. Penny Postage | Momma's Money Matters

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