The stupidest inbox in the blogosphere was leaning to one side when I opened it. Care to see what is inside? Grab your stress ball and put your drink back in the kitchen to avoid spitting and spilling. It is time for Friday Follies!
Ignorance is a bad thing. It is hard not to pity the ignorant because no one in their lives cares enough to set them straight.
Deaf, not dumb…
Stupidity, on the other hand, is beyond pity. With the inordinate information available, how people continue to hold stupid beliefs is enough to make me want to send a lightning bolt through the connection and blow up the link to the outside world. It would never work. The connection is outbound only. Obviously. Meet Greta.
Hatemailing from Idaho, Greta had a problem with last week’s Saturday Evening Post. In a strange turn of events, she is the only one. The wholesome subject matter is probably what threw off the hatemailers. What problem could she have with a post about victories?
Anybody can learn sign language. Why do you think deaf people use it?”
I am all for short hatemail, but this can of worms is bottomless. I could have pointed out the large number of people I know who cannot do sign language because they are missing appendages or have ones which are paralyzed. I could have pointed out how deafness is not a brain-incapacitating condition. What did I tell her?
It is because they want to be able to talk about the people who can hear without anyone knowing what they are saying.”
I am with Bugs on this one.
Lost & Never Found
Search engines are a mystery to most…especially hatemailers. Some of the highlights from the stupidest inbox included:
Nobody searches for pictures in blogs.”
Algorithms are math. There is no math in searching for WORDS.”
You cant change the titles of pictures. It is code for the camera that took the picture.”
Most of them lamented I obviously knew nothing. I was content in my apparent ignorance until Emily came along. Her hatemail made me wonder if Canada is using a different search engine than the entire rest of the Internet. See if you understand…
If you do not put all of your keywords in your title there is no way anything gets found. Nobody reads anything unless the title tells them everything.”
For the record, Emily does not have the Internet’s longest blog title, which is a whopping 314 words. I checked.
We have all heard anything with the word sex in it will draw out Internet surfers. To be more accurate, it draws out Internet rubberneckers, the voyeurs who have enough inhibition to not leave a comment. For those silent visits, I am grateful. And for an AdSense victory, even the ads on It is only a test. were completely accurate in displaying free facilities.
On the other hand, the boisterous ones who left unsavory comments, disturbing fetish notes and solicitations (No, I did not misspell salutations.) were almost as rampant and certainly more rabid. In what I can only say is an apropos exhibition of irony, enter Randy.
Hatemailing from Nevada, the last bastion of legalized American prostitution, Randy was concerned for his clientele’s experience.
I make sure all the girls are clean. How can you keep yourself in business if your [expletive] is diseased. Nobody wants to [expletive] a [expletive] that smells.”
But he was not the only one who was looking into the business of sex. If I had to guess, Claudette is the accountant for a brothel in Colorado.
Condoms are cheaper than treatment.”
I absolutely agree, although I still hold treatment up there at the top of the expenditures list. You know not everyone taking issue with this particular post was going to be looking in the wallet. Some were confused about the origins and prevalence. How about a highlight reel?
The only people who get STDs are the ones who are [expletive] animals”
Nobody gets STDs any more. There are vaccines for that now.”
STDs only infect women.”
Apparently, the last hatemailer thought Napoleon was a transvestite. There were some who thought STD were a good indicator of lifestyle. Enter the moralists.
I was berated for encouraging sex…again. As is often the case, the oppressive nature of the hatemail was about how only the hatemailer’s brand of sex is the form which should be acceptable. I shall not regale you with the assorted judgments about homosexuals or prostitutes, however.
Instead, we are going to combat Nina. Hatemailing from Greece, Nina has a problem with not only STD but also sex. The pertinent parts of her hatemail follow.
Nobody should be having sex. All the young people who worship each other and have sex all the time are being punished for their lust. […] If they can’t wait until they are married, they deserve a disease that can kill them. Scientists shouldn’t be researching a cure for any of them. Let their private parts fall off so they cannot have sex.
[…] But even the married people are having to much sex. Look at these people with six and more kids. What are they thinking? They need to have STDs so they cannot breed any more kids to grow up immoral like they are.”
How many ways did this turn my crank? Here are the top three. Let’s get interactive. What shall we send to Nina?
Your image of those unruly young people getting what they deserve is truly inspirational. Perhaps, you should talk to your government and see if they would consider infection with STD as a relevant form of punishment for sex crimes…especially for statutory sex. I am curious though…if STD are punishment for immoral sex, what are birth defects?
I know what you mean about having too many children. I think there should be a moratorium on pregnancy. Just think! In a little over 100 years, the race could be completely extinct. Or would you propose we should pick out certain women to breed future generations? How would that work with all the repeals of the miscegenation and forced sterilization laws? Too bad the Nazis gave eugenics such a bad name.
I often question the spending of research dollars. Considering the amount of money being spent worldwide on AIDS research, a cure should be right around the corner. Funny, though. There has been more money spent on cancer research, and science has been after it for much longer. I think it would be cheaper just to colonize all those with STD. It worked so well for containing leprosy. Where in your country could they live? It would not be all that expensive, especially since most of them are nudists any way.
Yes, Nina inspired the new poll.
Better Late Than Never
One of the most popular pieces on M3 is a post called And then there were none. Some of you will recall it from the first marriage series. Tonight’s last contestant has something to say about the list which allows you to judge your friends on a scale of one to ten.
Not sure which one you need to drop from the list, but you can’t have a 10 for a friend unless you can sleep with them.”
Wouldn’t he just curl Nina’s toes?
Building for the future?
Mantra may not have gotten a photo credit in Muse for Monday this week, but she got hatemail. Seems Chuck has a problem with storied and historic buildings. Since his hatemail arrives from Massachusetts, I would suspect he has seen an historic building or eighty.
His apparent run-ins with historic societies were evident in his hatemail.
Just tear down those delapidated things! They are a death trap to everybody who goes inside. Everything built before 1970 should be torn down. Why do you think all these babies are born with birthdefects? All the asbestos and lead paint!”
Oh, go ahead! Shake your head! I did. And then I took offense at his picking out 1970 out of the hat. Without farting too much dust, I returned fire.
What a fabulous way to revitalize the country and the economy! Can you imagine how many jobs would be created to essentially tear down the United States and build it again? But I think you are being too charitable in your dates. You see, the EPA did not ban lead paint until 1978 or asbestos until 1989. Why not make it a worldwide effort of everything built before the 1991 application? Just think of some of the buildings which would fall:
The Rose Bowl
Seattle’s Space Needle
La Tour Eiffel
Sydney Opera House
The Great Pyramids
Tower of Pisa
So, I am curious, would you replace them all with pre-fab, eco-friendly, renewable energy powered buildings or were you thinking something more Orbit City?
I considered telling him about black mold, but could already picture him in a Tyvek suit as it was.
I hope your week has been free of hatemail, STD, Tyvek suits and maroons. From the stupidest inbox in the blogosphere, have a great rest of the weekend! Thank you for reading the 28th edition of the Friday Follies on M3.
So, what shall we send Nina? I am open for suggestions! Did you vote in the new poll? What do you think I should send the late entry? (His name is Bobby.)
(c) Red Dwyer 2012
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