It has been a time of bizarre and wonderful happenstance and endeavor. Rather than bore you with the intimate details, suffice it to say I have overcome. My official newlywed label has worn away, and my doctor says I may type. We shall keep her squarely in dark as to the amount.
First time since…
For the first time since 1993, I have moved house three times in less than three years. I have one more move to go, but it will hold for another year. I have grown wise enough not to proclaim my next move my last.
For the first time since 2004, I have blended family under our roof. It daily reminds me how important raising strong children truly is. I am acutely aware of how much I enjoy when they sleep.
For the first time since 2008, I have lost more than three friends in a year. 2016 was tougher on my circle of friends than any prior year. Let’s have no more of that.
For the first time since early 2012, I have deleted a draft of a post. Since the reference is long out of date, what with the no typing happening for months instead of weeks, we shall embark on it in a serial. Some things never change.
For the first time since 2013, I have been changing my normal path along the blogosphere. This has been mostly as some of the places where my hat regularly hung are no longer habitable. Just as life got squarely in my way, it overtook many of the bloggers who I have enjoyed immensely in times gone by.
For the first time since 2016, I am happy to be in front of my irritatingly up-to-date laptop to write. For all of its idiosyncratic hiding of things I specifically do not move, I find typing more intimate than voice notes. I loathe the sound of my own voice. Whilst the autocorrect has learnt to speak Red, and even though my laptop utterly refuses to correct dull-fingered typos, I enjoy the sound of my nails on the keys.
Firsts are not all they are not all they are cracked up to be.
In Other News
What is there about the first time we do things which causes us to emotionally bond with activities and imbue them with an importance which pales in repetition?
Breaking the ice with people often leads to discussions about the first time we have done or possessed things. What was your first car? When did you fall in love the first time? Where did you fly on your first plane ride?
Do we believe those first experiences bond us? How? Our first experiences with many things are either out of our control or marked by our lack of experience. Many of our first come as a direct result of choices made by our parental units. Others into which we blunder are either painful or comic tales to tell. Rarely is the first experience one we want written in our memoirs.
Do we do it to break down the other person? If we can see someone else has made mistakes or at least similar missteps to ours, does it make them more approachable? Surely, we can find a better way to get to know someone than asking them to reveal something about themselves they may not want us to know.
1, 2, 3 Switch
Without referencing Monty Python, many people have a hard time changing the subject. Instead, they answer the questions, open themselves up prematurely, clam up the moment the words escape and kick themselves later for doing it all. So, knowing we have done it and others do it, what possesses us to ask these inane questions? Remember curiosity killed Schrödinger’s cat.
We all hate the uncomfortable, pregnant silence which hangs between us when nothing immediately follows the last comment. No pithy retort. No quick-witted reply. No sincere declaration. What is the best solution for nothing to say? Ask someone else to do it. (counts to ten… thrice)
Rather than sliding the hot plate under the seat beside you, why not fill the silence with something of our own? This is not an invitation to be an insufferable boor. It is an explicit invitation to tell Quaint something you find interesting without Quaint needing to be an inquisitor.
For example, do you play a sport? Rather than asking, simple state, “I play squash on the weekends.” Whilst leading with an MVP trophy and quoting statistics is largely frowned upon, inviting Quaint to watch a match is considerate.
What was the last book you read? Chances are great it is better conversation fodder than the first book you read.
Have you made a good deal lately? Everyone loves a bargain, especially if it supports local economy.
Is your thumb green or black? Hardly anyone feels extended remorse over killing a plant, even the inedible kind. Typically, people with black thumbs have a wonderful sense of humor about their superpower.
Have you seen a good performance? New ballet in town? Box at the symphony? Something at the cinema? Comedy club? New to NetFlix? Discovering Quaint’s taste in entertainment is a quick inroad to friendship.
We can find out about others without grilling them with questions from the distant past. Without putting our new friends on the hot seat, we can determine similarities which become the backdrop to truly successful relationships. No pain; Lots of gain.
Do people who resort to Q&A to keep conversation going make you uncomfortable? Give another example of conversation starters.
#friendship #relationships #dating
Thank you for sharing The M3 Blog with hashtags.