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    • I have more than 5,000 contacts. I have more than 5,000 contacts. I believe you will be another who will like the challenge of next month. It has been a good one for me which has given me a lot of ideas for the future. I agree with the inadequacy of siege mentality. Negative emotions are vented by reflex. Backfilling them with positive emotion is the only sustainable scenario. I am glad you have mentioned friendship. Indeed, it is a necessary element to all friendships, despite our rather blindered opinion of what love means. April 23, 2013 08:55
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Saturday Evening Post

Venti LatteGood grief! What a week! The A to Z kickoff. Picking up the pieces of a database. Setting into motion. Grab a cuppa and snuggle into a rocker. Clyde is curious. The sun is out and warm. Let’s talk.

A to Z!

After the fun we had last year with A to Z, I knew we would do it again this year. Turns out, there were a lot of requests for a repeat of A to Z on a number of topics. While those requests did not pan out, The M3 Blog is going to metamorphose over the course of this year. More on that in a bit.

eBook Guide

You are very receptive to this year’s topic, becoming a successful author. Already, there are requests this series make its way to ebook. If you read A is for Author, you know I will not merely copy the posts into a document and make an ebook. I am currently compiling other research and readmitting the edits which hit the floor (based on post size).

There will be many letters in the ebook which did not appear on M3. A number of letters had many choices, so the ones left not chosen will be added to the book.

Ugh.

Some days, I wish we still lived in the age of the abacus. Advanced tech, especially when you get programs which are stable, is no more reliable than the hardware onto which they are loaded. While this sounds like a no-brainer, in fact, when the backup source is the hardware failure, it usually means data loss.

Good news: The reestablishment of the database is nearly complete! I am looking forward to the enhancements which will make this particular database a smoother piece of tech than what it replaced. The silver lining to the crowd is the new db software is significantly better.

Hop!

Letter AWith A to Z in full swing, and your favorite bloggers posting as much as 5 times more per week than usual, there will be a suspension of Mantra, interviews and other blog hops this month. Asked & Answered is the other extra blog hop post this month. Based on the reaction I have gotten, most everyone missed the link in the email.

Do read the first line of your subscriptions. It tells you how many posts are in the email since the last digest.

Next Month

I have begun the prep work for next month’s posts. I hope you will enjoy it. It is a journey you will be able to take with me, if you are so inclined, as a guidepost will go up near the end of the A to Z Challenge. If you skip the first line in the subscription, you may miss it.

Future

I am consider an A to Z type series which I would love to put to a poll. Alas, the polling feature is disabled since I have yet to find something which can live on M3 and not invade places where it has no business. If given your druthers, which topic would you choose?

  • Quaint and Mate
  • Poetry
  • Saving money
  • Parenting
  • Writing
  • Blogging
  • Something else

Before I hear loads of groans, let me reveal something. I know the average reader on M3 is over 50. The majority of the psychology we discuss is parenting psychology. The application of it is not with our own children, in most instances, but with other people’s children. Everyone is someone’s child. I will not be dragging out baby gates or talking about fever reduction.

If you are up for Quaint and Mate, I am open to suggestions to augment my ideas where to take them.

Right turn, Clyde!

Orangutans are strong. With six to seven times the strength of a human and intelligence on par with the majority of humans, there is one thing orangs are smart enough to not carry: grudges.

While they catalog dangers to avoid for survival, they do not harbor ill will of any animal, whether other orangutans or other species. Perfectly capable of creating and using tools, systematic testing of boundaries and engaging in the longest maternal relationships outside humans, they do not keep score.

Contrariwise, humans do. It what may well be the heaviest emotional baggage, we lug around animosity at injustices real and perceived. No other animal on Earth chooses to be less concerned with the inherent danger in the world than the emotional response to others’ actions and inaction.

Enter Ape

Right turn, Clyde.

Right turn, Clyde.

We know happiness releases endorphins which make us stay younger longer. Worry burns vitamin C, depletes iron and complicates bowel, blood pressure and psychological issues. Anger increase cortisol, which makes us bloat, raises our adrenaline levels and makes us hungry. All of it makes us tired; yet, negative emotions disrupt sleep when they invade. Why do we choose to carry around grudges?

Entitled

Our parents told us we were better than all the other children. We believed them. We were entitled to be treated well. After all, the Golden Rule was the only law in our lives at the time. Whenever we came home with tail tucked or abraded feelings on our sleeves, we were comforted into believing the other party was wrong for not being nice. After all, we were better than that.

Flip

Down to the Last Penny

Other parents told their children they deserved to be treated this way for not standing up to bullies or otherwise being weak. They pointed out what we had done to provoke others.

Although it happens in no natural instance, both seeds grow the same tree, which bears bitter fruit.

Bring on the Worms

Instead of facing the fact not everyone is on even footing, admitting within the species there are dominant and subservient people or devising a coping mechanism to define which role we play in the societal matrix, we were content to be malcontent in the injustice of it all.

At what cost?

Rather than choosing different friends or territories, we continue to subject ourselves to the people who are our polar opposites and those just too far left of center to be a good fit. We blame lack of money, mobility and inability for our unhappiness. Each morning we pick up the leaden bag filled with grudges and trudge to work or play.

Weighed down, we are unable to move freely enough in our environments to cultivate healthy relationships because we poison them with the need to have our grudge validated by those who support us. If you love me, you will hate them as much as I do.

It is enough to make an ape wonder.

Until next time,

Red Signature

What is a better way of dealing with being affronted or slighted? What have we taught our children about bullies and inequity? Why is shared negativity not enough to sustain a relationship?

What would you like to see as the series for June?

Hashtags: #grudges #choices #betterliving

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21 Comments

  1. I found kicking those people out the door and changing the locks works well..

    series for June? What happened to the month of May?

    um, saving money.
    Laurie recently posted..F is for FantasyMy Profile

    Reply
    • May is listed in there. I have most of May written now 🙂

      Reply
    • OH duh! It’s under the giant heading “Next Month”
      I’m blind as a bat or easily confused one.

      And even though right now to me it appears I’m talking to myself I know I’m not b/c I got the email thingy to tell there was a reply. So my browser is really wacko today.

      I’m beginning to understand why the kiddo put a return address label on me; she was afraid I’d get lost and not be able to find my way home.
      Laurie recently posted..G is for GratitudeMy Profile

      Reply
      • ROFL! That is priceless! And you are not the only one today with a PFT for Google.

        Reply
  2. “Our parents told us we were better than all the other children.” Really? Not in my world.

    Oh, I am quite comfortable at choosing new people and territories. Ask me sometime how often I’ve moved … on the other hand, some stuff follows you, especially with the advances of technology.

    I often wonder why people talk badly about their friends on an ongoing basis, yet stay friends with them. It baffles, and annoys me, to no end.
    Alexandra Heep recently posted..F is for Fresh Fruit and Vegetables from Caputo’sMy Profile

    Reply
    • That would put you in the second group. I have no idea why. I tend to shed those people like second skin.

      Reply
  3. I was always the “Princess”, my son is “Angel Boy” and I wish all kids were told they’re loved every single minute of every single day. Even if they do dumb things, even if anything. You can disapprove of the behavior but the love never goes away. Or should never go away. That’s where the unconditional part comes in. That’s my opinion.
    Enchanted Seashells, Confessions of a Tugboat Captains Wife recently posted..Bang Bang, that awful soundMy Profile

    Reply
    • So many people do not understand the difference between the person and the behavior. I agree with your opinion. Thank you for stopping by today, Shell.xxx

      Reply
  4. Like I said before, I think rockets are the best way to deal with bullies.
    Binky recently posted..Honest FashionMy Profile

    Reply
  5. Ha! Great comment, Blinky. Great post, Red 🙂

    I’ve got to tell you, I loved the tug of war video!! It was so funny how the orangutang just looked at the guy, so placid. It surprises me how she engaged – that was great, thanks! 🙂
    Noeleen recently posted..By the light of 3 candlesMy Profile

    Reply
    • It is why I often use the comparison of animals and humans. What we find so distressing is nothing whatsoever to other species in our same confines. I thought she was adorable. It looked like she enjoyed the game.

      Reply
  6. Life is too short to bear grudges.

    I may remember all the harm others have done to me, but I don’t let it poison the well.

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.
    Prenin recently posted..Saturday – Andy and his heart op.My Profile

    Reply
    • Continuing to harp on it just makes us relive it without healing. It is the proverbial picking of the scab. 🙂

      Reply
  7. I didn’t grow up in one of those ‘oh my princess’ homes but the opposite. I believe in encouraging young ones, and explaining somedays might be rocky–for such is life–but the idea is to learn through failures and push on etc.

    I’m all for something other than Quaint and Mate but let the tally rule.
    Tess Kann recently posted..Where Was I?My Profile

    Reply
    • No clue where we will go, but I am certain Quaint will appear somewhere. Quaint always does. 😉 I agree a balanced approach is the most pragmatic approach.

      Reply
  8. I would like to see more posts on your experiences with writing & blogging and more posts touching on Redmund Productions and how it can be of great service to other writers/authors.
    Always love reading about your take on relationships…long may that continue. 😉

    Glad you have a reliable DB, I used to develop them and build PCs etc., I know that IT can have both a positive and negative impact on individuals who just want to get on with things.

    I hate injustice, I’m not a fan of bullies or those who feel they are superior to everyone else.
    I know true equality is an idealistic utopian dream but I still teach my children the golden rule of treating people how they would want to be treated.

    Shared negativity and/or adopting the united, they are all against us ‘siege mentality’ can only take a couple so far.
    Love is a positive spiritual, emotional and physical force.
    I believe individuals need to be positive and optimistic to truly enjoy all of Loves long-term benefits and how it displays itself in romantic relationships…and friendships.
    Phil recently posted..Matrimonial TestimonialsMy Profile

    Reply
    • I believe you will be another who will like the challenge of next month. It has been a good one for me which has given me a lot of ideas for the future.

      I agree with the inadequacy of siege mentality. Negative emotions are vented by reflex. Backfilling them with positive emotion is the only sustainable scenario. I am glad you have mentioned friendship. Indeed, it is a necessary element to all friendships, despite our rather blindered opinion of what love means.

      Reply

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