Good grief! It is Saturday already. Where has this week gone? Grab a cuppa and snuggle into a rocker. There is a stack of blankets right over there. The wind is not going to die down. Let’s talk.
Missing, Working, Ignoring?
I appreciate all of those who have called, emailed, climbed into the SIB, sent guest posts (or flares) and snail mail. (Yes, I did get the APB card. Very funny!)
Although it may seem like I am ignoring you, I really am not. I just have zero extra minutes these days. You see, the book which was supposed to come out last month got tripped up because of the FAB world completely forgetting I have work I do every day. I could not put off Finding the Path to catch up because there are about 20 other authors who would have been rather upset about that.
Since I am nearing completion of the FTP book, I have been wrapping the loose ends around Get Published! Not only that… Mantra… the little wench… has been penning her new book. My guess is she will be done with it before the end of the year, rather than the end of spring. She thinks deadlines are for mortals, so she is a few months ahead of schedule to prove a point which is entirely lost on me.
The moment FTP and GP are complete and available I will be putting the final scene into Charitable Darkness. It has been moving along at a decent clip for the last few weeks. Have I mentioned this one is really twisted? Although its primary designation will be erotica, it is making a valiant bid for a psychological thriller.
Right Turn, Clyde!
Clyde has been watching my calendar with an inordinate amount of interest. He sees the appointments stack up and extend into months from now. He can see how days are laid out and how I squeeze hours from them which appear to not exist.
In truth, they do not exist. The proverbial blood from the stone. Still, what is amazing is the large (and growing) number of people who believe I do not need to count on them.
For instance, we all hate installers who tell us they will arrive between noon and Thursday. While we appreciate they may run into an issue which would preclude them from arriving at a specific time, it means we must accommodate their inability to accurately project when they will arrive.
Alternatively, there are people who are contracted to be somewhere at a specific time. Take as an example, therapists.
One would think paying someone $15-$150 per hour would entice them to be punctual… or at the very least present. Such is not the case. Even the ones who make commitments to provide services on a barter system or free of charge have agreed to be present at an appointed hour.
Alas, they do not arrive. Excuses pour in from every sector.
- I’ve been sick all night.
- I got hurt and need to stay home.
- My car won’t start.
As a long term manager, I have heard all of the excuses. “Sick all night” usually means “hung over”. “Hurt” is usually penance for doing something completely ill-advised (read stupid). If your car will not start, get a ride.
No. In fact, it is about respect. When we make commitments to do anything, we are taking responsibility. In taking it, we are alleviating someone else’s responsibility, freeing them to make plans. When we fail to uphold our obligations, we cause heartache for others.
More often than not, the person we have failed will not tell us how much disappointment we cause. While we may get the brunt of the aggravation, we likely will never know how the breach of trust has damaged our relationship. In fact, when we drop the ball on a favor, we are breaking trust.
When you say you will take your neighbor’s elderly parent to an appointment, your neighbor will make plans to do things otherwise neglected during parental care, like a doctor’s appointment to ensure continued health to care for the aging parent or an attorney’s appointment to safeguard the parent’s assets.
If you call the day before (or worse, the morning of) to cancel, you have effectively told the person to whom you committed your whims are more important than whatever may have been planned based on your commitment. This level of disrespect is difficult to overcome.
We all have things in our lives which are important. When we need help to accomplish those things, we count on others to stand up to their commitments. If we commit to do something for someone, whether for a fee or as a favor, we must have the integrity to keep the commitment and the respect to preclude breaking the trust of the other person.
It is enough to make an ape wonder.
Until next time,
How many times does a friend let you down before you stop asking for a commitment? What would you do if it was a contractor who did this? If you break a commitment, what do you offer to rebuild the trust?
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