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Saturday Evening Post

Extra Large Coffee CupGood grief! It is Saturday already. Where has this week gone? Grab a cuppa and snuggle into a rocker. There is a stack of blankets right over there. The wind is not going to die down. Let’s talk.

Missing, Working, Ignoring?

I appreciate all of those who have called, emailed, climbed into the SIB, sent guest posts (or flares) and snail mail. (Yes, I did get the APB card. Very funny!)

Although it may seem like I am ignoring you, I really am not. I just have zero extra minutes these days. You see, the book which was supposed to come out last month got tripped up because of the FAB world completely forgetting I have work I do every day. I could not put off Finding the Path to catch up because there are about 20 other authors who would have been rather upset about that.

Mantra coldSince I am nearing completion of the FTP book, I have been wrapping the loose ends around Get Published! Not only that… Mantra… the little wench… has been penning her new book. My guess is she will be done with it before the end of the year, rather than the end of spring. She thinks deadlines are for mortals, so she is a few months ahead of schedule to prove a point which is entirely lost on me.

The moment FTP and GP are complete and available I will be putting the final scene into Charitable Darkness. It has been moving along at a decent clip for the last few weeks. Have I mentioned this one is really twisted? Although its primary designation will be erotica, it is making a valiant bid for a psychological thriller.

Right Turn, Clyde!

full calendar2Clyde has been watching my calendar with an inordinate amount of interest. He sees the appointments stack up and extend into months from now. He can see how days are laid out and how I squeeze hours from them which appear to not exist.

In truth, they do not exist. The proverbial blood from the stone. Still, what is amazing is the large (and growing) number of people who believe I do not need to count on them.

For instance, we all hate installers who tell us they will arrive between noon and Thursday. While we appreciate they may run into an issue which would preclude them from arriving at a specific time, it means we must accommodate their inability to accurately project when they will arrive.

Alternatively, there are people who are contracted to be somewhere at a specific time. Take as an example, therapists.

One would think paying someone $15-$150 per hour would entice them to be punctual… or at the very least present. Such is not the case. Even the ones who make commitments to provide services on a barter system or free of charge have agreed to be present at an appointed hour.

Alas, they do not arrive. Excuses pour in from every sector.

  • I’ve been sick all night.
  • I got hurt and need to stay home.
  • My car won’t start.

As a long term manager, I have heard all of the excuses. “Sick all night” usually means “hung over”. “Hurt” is usually penance for doing something completely ill-advised (read stupid). If your car will not start, get a ride.

Hard Ass?

No. In fact, it is about respect. When we make commitments to do anything, we are taking responsibility. In taking it, we are alleviating someone else’s responsibility, freeing them to make plans. When we fail to uphold our obligations, we cause heartache for others.

More often than not, the person we have failed will not tell us how much disappointment we cause. While we may get the brunt of the aggravation, we likely will never know how the breach of trust has damaged our relationship. In fact, when we drop the ball on a favor, we are breaking trust.

Enter Ape

Right turn, Clyde.

Right turn, Clyde.

When you say you will take your neighbor’s elderly parent to an appointment, your neighbor will make plans to do things otherwise neglected during parental care, like a doctor’s appointment to ensure continued health to care for the aging parent or an attorney’s appointment to safeguard the parent’s assets.

If you call the day before (or worse, the morning of) to cancel, you have effectively told the person to whom you committed your whims are more important than whatever may have been planned based on your commitment. This level of disrespect is difficult to overcome.

We all have things in our lives which are important. When we need help to accomplish those things, we count on others to stand up to their commitments. If we commit to do something for someone, whether for a fee or as a favor, we must have the integrity to keep the commitment and the respect to preclude breaking the trust of the other person.

It is enough to make an ape wonder.

Until next time,

Red Signature


How many times does a friend let you down before you stop asking for a commitment? What would you do if it was a contractor who did this? If you break a commitment, what do you offer to rebuild the trust?

Hashtags: #trust #commitment

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© Red Dwyer 2013
Re-Blogging of this or any other post on The M3 Blog
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Copyright and Privacy Policy available in The Office.



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15 Comments

  1. This is appropriate for me. I was eight hours late on a writing commitment last night and I didn’t offer anything in exchange. I hope I got it in before press time. I don’t lie to people or give BS excuses for why I messed up, but tell them the truth. I have one friend who commits and never shows up, so I stopped asking and what do you know? As soon as I stopped asking she offered and was here punctually. Usually I ask for a deadline because I work best with them, allotting my time appropriately while being honest with myself whether or not I can accomplish it by the deadline. My own excuse this time was duh I forgot and was eight hours late for a critical deadline. I took it seriously enough to be up writing at three thirty am, but that doesn’t cut it.
    Gail Thornton recently posted..Flash Fiction – AroundMy Profile

    Reply
    • The divide between those who do and do not function well with deadlines is Grand Canyon sized. I function best with skeletal instructions and a deadline. I get bogged down with the chewed up directions. They stick in the roof of my mouth. xxx

      Reply
  2. I would have been here earlier, but my sick car wouldn’t start and I needed to restock the cupboards with treats before I could make it over here.
    Binky recently posted..Autumn Eco TourMy Profile

    Reply
  3. Red,
    I totally agree with every word of your assessment; moreover, I won’t make any other comment, so as not to detract from that message with further folderol from me…. This has always been a pet peeve of mine, as I believe strongly in personal responsibility…

    That’s all… you’re right, and I wish more people would see it your way… but, people are people, and selfish as a general rule… Take care, & I hope such annoying behavior from others is minimized and/or mitigated in your life…

    😉 Blessed Be, Red-san….
    gigoid, aka Ned recently posted..Plainly painful paroxysms of unnatural concern….My Profile

    Reply
    • Ned, do you think if we were to bite more people we could spread the sanity? I am more than willing to try. 😉 Bright blessings.

      Reply
  4. I have lots of excuses for being late (again) to call into your excellent M3 Space but… Alas I won’t add any, after all I have brought you some of my Wombat Day chocolates and a snazzy Halloween costume, nothing too revealing, no I mean I won’t tell you what it is 🙂

    Not what you were thinking, oh no you probably had notions of some translucent offering that I had quickly thrown together hoping that you would wear it without question, but no, well I don’t know though it could be / will be a lot better than the chocolates 🙂 lol

    Okay I am being serious again, in actual fact this is a wonderful posting and so true 🙂

    Have a fun evening
    packed with exciting
    moments 🙂

    Andro xxxx

    Reply
  5. I don’t mind the installer being late, but I hate it when the doctor is. With the first I can do other things.
    Bearman recently posted..The Cure for BaldnessMy Profile

    Reply
    • Do not even get me started on the double standard with health care providers. Although, it would make a fabulous rant… especially today. Thank you for the post idea, Bearman.

      Reply
  6. What does a body have to do to get service anymore? Ugh.I know of what your speak.

    I’ve been waiting for over three weeks to get the pilot light fixed on my fireplace. It’s getting cold down here in the basement. Winter’s coming. Many phone calls. One voice mail in return. Called the store to find out how many repairmen they have. I was promised results before last weekend last Wednesday. My last resort will be to call the gas company…
    Tess Kann recently posted..Is This Gossip?My Profile

    Reply
    • I have no idea. I thought they were in it for the money. One would think paying someone to work would be enough incentive. Makes me really question the theory “Money is the root of all evil.” Hmm… I think I have just stumbled on another post. Thank you, Tess. xxx

      Reply

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