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Friday Follies: White Meat Edition

Hatemail logoApparently, The M3 Blog is a spam magnet. Perhaps, an illustrated example will make this a little clearer.

On 01JAN14, I took a peek at the spam filter to see if something was wiggling which should be set free. As rare as that is (three in six months), I would hate for someone with a pulse to be stuck in no man’s land. What to my wondering eyes did appear?

spam statistics

Click to enlarge

Yes, 748 spam comments on day one. Ironically, this is not all. (No, the 25,000 from December really is not all that surprising to me any longer.)

We all love the idiotic comments and emails I have gotten over the years. The Friday Follies have their own tab. Want to see just a few of the brain stratchers I have gotten lately?

A picture is worth… spam.

Recently, I have gotten a load of interest in one of my images. No, it is not the beautiful red mermaid. No, it is not even the red demon. Let me show you the comments and see if you can figure out onto which picture they attached.

A Spade

Ace of SpadesYou must love when a spammer spams you about how to overcome spam, right?

Do you have a spam problem on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I was curious about your situation; we have developed some nice procedures and we are looking to trade methods with others, be sure to shoot me an e-mail if interested.”

Seriously? Did you just send a bot out to tell me you know how to control spam by spamming? Ugh.

Translation?

There will always be someone in the spam net whose Google Translate was on the blink.

I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase.”

Can I buy a vowel?

Runner up for the Translate Blooper is this gem:

What a stuff of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable know-how about unexpected feelings.”

Gesundheit?

Noobs

Newbie spam is constant. That stranger who is so supportive of your blog, which answers all the needs of a friend, leaves comments to confirm their spamminess.

I all the time emailed this website post page to all my contacts, as if like to read it after that my friends will too.”

Wow, this piece of writing is fastidious, my sister is analyzing these things, therefore I am going to convey her.”

Your style is unique in comparison to other people I have read stuff from. I appreciate you for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I will just bookmark this web site.”

Hello there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before but after checking through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back often!”

If you are looking for this, here it is. Bookmark away.

You got that right.

Over the last few years, I have come to appreciate some of the off-topic comments from visitors and friends who know it is just as easy to reach me on M3 as it is in the SIB. This one, well, not so much.

Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!”

All righty then.

Why?

Why is this run of the mill spam funny? Can you guess to which picture all of the above (and another 300) were attached?

Gonorrhea Bacteria

Gonorrhea Bacteria

That is right. All of these spammers are interested in gonorrhea. Perhaps, we could get them a group discount.


Hashtags: #humor #FridayFollies #spam

What is the point in spam? Who falls for this? What would you like to tell spammers?

Thank you for sharing The M3 Blog with hashtags.

© Red Dwyer 2014
Re-Blogging of this or any other post on The M3 Blog
is expressly forbidden.
Copyright and Privacy Policy available in The Office.



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10 Comments

  1. I’ve gotten some of those same comments –so I feel good to like to be traveling in company such as your blog finely written.
    Happy New Year to you!
    Enchanted Seashells, Confessions of a Tugboat Captains Wife recently posted..“You Are SO Fancy!” And My Love For All That Is Coco Chanel Propagates Yet Another HandbagMy Profile

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  2. I especially like getting 72 of the same badly translated message, with a couple of words shifted around.
    Lately, I’ve been getting historical spam on berlin. Not sure what that’s all about…
    El Guapo recently posted..The Return Of The Son Of The Cousin Of That Guy Who’s Sister Briefly Dated The Friday Foolishness!!!My Profile

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  3. I thought I was having some kind of mental meltdown trying to make sense of these!!! 🙂

    Reminds me: Must check my spamhause to see if I caught any friends in there!

    WordPress have been so quiet I’m wondering what the buggers are going to do next…

    Happy 2014 my friend and God Bless!

    Prenin.
    Prenin recently posted..Thursday – Quiet Day.My Profile

    Reply
  4. Did NOT see that coming. Gonorrhea, huh?

    I have not gotten near that amount of spam. But like another commenter, I have received historical, and oddly enough, sport trivia, spam.

    Reply
  5. The internet ate my first comment, bugger.

    You know I miss your old follies, I miss the caved in skulls that use to write you. They were such fun!!

    Perhaps the girl with the hermit crab, maybe she truly did just need a sympathtic ear…..bwwaaaa

    Gonarrhea though, just no.

    Love ya sister
    Valentine Logar recently posted..Wallowing, NotMy Profile

    Reply
  6. I think the spammers are really going after the blogs with no comment moderation, or the blogs with so few comments that any comment that sounds the least bit plausible will get approved. They would have a much higher success rate if they wrote in English, however.
    Binky recently posted..A Wombie Christmas 2013My Profile

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  7. The last one about the little girl at the beach with her mother, I have had parlance with or shall I say spam wrestling. I had to shut down my first blog because spam multiplied on my site like rabbits on holiday.

    What a nuisance, like nits on clean hair. Ugh.
    Tess Kann recently posted..Heaven, Hell and PurgatoryMy Profile

    Reply
  8. Was the one under “You Got That Right” written by Jack Handy? Sounds like one of those “Deep Thoughts” routines.

    I often thought about doing a spam response podcast. Where I would read the spam that was sent to me (provided it sounded funny), and then make a funny audio response. Not sure if this would be funny or just boring.

    BTW. Hello, hope you are doing good on your end.

    Reply
  9. There is nothing stranger than
    folks, or in this case… Bots 🙁 lmao

    Luckily I have only had ten Spam comments on my adventure through WP but being that I have a Private site accounts for that tiny figure.

    Apart from the Wombies I doubt that anyone in the blogosphere enjoys Spam that much 🙁 lol

    Andro xxxx
    Gray Dawster recently posted..New Themes: Motif and SuitsMy Profile

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  10. I have nominated you for an award.

    http://wp.me/pXmvo-Og

    Reply

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