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Saturday Evening Post

Venti LatteA while ago, I posted exactly what I want. I did not realize how much typing it would save me until a few days ago. Grab a cuppa and snuggle into a rocker. We are going to forgo formality and just talk. Clyde will weigh in later.

In a sincere effort to broaden my constricted social circle in the FAB world, I joined an online dating website, who will remain nameless for obvious and covert reasons. It has been entertaining, infuriating and enlightening. What? You thought I would not find the bright side?

Entertaining

Mating rituals vary from culture to culture, and online life is a culture all to itself. The spontaneity created by the safety of a liquid crystal screen breaks inhibitions the FAB world holds sacred. While most people are smart enough to know not to confess online, where nothing really ever is deleted, there are plenty who do not think what they are saying is really a confession.

Not for lack of content...

Not for lack of content…

No, this is not a Friday Follies… yet.

Whilst there are those who truly are looking for the white rocker on the wraparound porch, there are twice as many who believe saying they want it is an open door into the world of someone who really does… or in the very least someone who believes it and the rapid-fire, speed-dating, NSA, two-weekend relationship are mutually exclusive.

Those who are looking for friendship are the most sincere because they have no qualms about airing their fallibility. They are uninhibited enough to laugh wholeheartedly and be concerned for someone who may never materialize in the FAB world.

Infuriating

In my brief sojourn into this world, I have encountered pimps looking for prostitutes to herd, drug dealers looking for clients, drug users looking for one another and people with absolutely no social grace whatsoever. While the block button works really well for the first three of that list, the final one is the bane of online dating.

Hormel Canned Ham

All Ham

I have never been camera shy, ever. Many believe I am 100% grade-A pork. Under no circumstances does that mean I want to see pictures of everyone else, in specific the genitalia of anyone else. There are a large number of online dating consumers who lead with unsolicited crotch-shots before they come across with their names. I now am in possession of enough of said pictures to wallpaper a flat.

Equally abhorrent are those who believe such pictures should be supplied on demand. When politely refused, the immediate assumption (buzzword) is I must be a (man, scammer, illegal, lesbian, prisoner) or (fat, ugly, insane). Most of the accusations come in groups of three or more choices with a racial slur thrown in for good measure.

Enlightening

Everyone has heard the jibes and japes about online dating being the place where social misfits congregate when the FAB world kicks them to the curb. In fact, they are far from the truth. A large section of our society does not have the time to troll public places on the off chance someone compatible on a (philosophical, physical, emotional) level will happen along and extend a greeting. Since society also frowns on cold calls, online dating is a viable option for many to find friends who move online daters back into a traditional method of meeting Mates: introduction by friends.

eye bleach

Meme snitched from Facebook

The blind date of today is hardly blind, unless it needed eye-bleach from a crotch-shot. The public pictures and the in-chat exchange of pictures give a good idea of the FAB world of most online daters. You just need to know which part of the picture to frame.

With billions of people on the Internet every day, we are no longer bound by proximity to encounter people who fulfill and complement our lives. Because societal and cultural taboos are erased with the borders the Internet refuses to acknowledge, most are truer to themselves in the absence of judgment the FAB world hands down.

Does anyone sense a series being born?

I hope you have had an amusing week. I am still,

Red Signature


What makes us criticize online dating? What makes people lead with the most inappropriate material first?

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11 Comments

  1. Take good care my friend – you forgot to mention the psychopaths looking for their next victim.

    Not just killers, but violent control freaks and the just plain weird!!!

    I know you have good taste (after all you chose me as a friend! LoL!!!) but be wary of the narcissists who love bomb you, then start to seriously fuck with your mind – my dad was like that and so is my neighbour Doug…

    Please be careful hun – I don’t want to end up helping you bury the body! 😀

    Love and huge hugs always! 🙂

    Prenin.
    Prenin recently posted..Friday – My CD’s arrive!My Profile

    Reply
    • Pren, not to worry. I only meet those kind in the FAB world. Most of what I meet in virtual reality are certain their tells are not hanging out in the spaces between their words. We may have to make a post of them 😉 Hey, now. I know you are handy with a shovel. 😛 xxx

      Reply
  2. I will hope for a series and live vicariously through you, who have far more patience than I.

    Reply
  3. I flirted with online dating only briefly and many years ago. I was not impressed with most whom were on offer.
    This shall be an interesting series, and already I hear ‘anecdotes are piling up’, as you mention. 🙂
    Tess recently posted..Sally’s Grotto – The Christmas Gift Emporium of Unique Indie Endeavours – Week FourMy Profile

    Reply
  4. People certainly can be different online than they are in person, but it some ways I think their true self emerges when they won’t be judged in the same way they may be in the real world.

    Reply
  5. The best way is to be oneself online and not pretend to be anything else, I mean if someone was to meet a lovely person and had not been honest then where would any future with them be? Nowhere is the simple answer as beginning a friendship with a lie is ridiculous.

    A lot of people have met online, in networking sites for instance and have evolved from that, in other words have dated and indeed in many cases married as a result.

    I think dating agencies are okay I guess, not that I have ever ventured into that but I would think that the possibilities of finding someone worthwhile is rather high. After all, and as you have already mentioned, not everyone has the time to frequent the most likely of places in which to meet new friends.

    The main thing with dating online or by means of a dating agency is safety, there are too many uncertainties these days, and so being safe is the main focus. For instance meeting in a crowded area, or having a friend nearby in case of any unpleasantness is something that is very important, that kind of thing.

    I hope that you will find someone nice, someone genuine, and more importantly someone that will not drop his shorts thinking that he is God’s gift to women 🙂 Seriously though, I am sure that there are lots of men out there that do not present themselves like that… I hope 🙂 lol

    Andro xxxx

    Reply
    • Bwahahaha! More are those who do present themselves precisely that way! Indeed, safety is the biggest issue. Unlike meeting through friends, the vetting process is not shared when one moves a person from the virtual world to the FAB world.

      In the end, I find it far more entertaining than other forms of online play. 🙂 Great to see you today, Andro. xxxx

      Reply
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