Thanks! I, um, love it?

A Christmas Story

Whether it is your anniversary, birthday or holiday time, you are always going to get that one gift you which makes you wonder if the gift-giver has any idea who you are? (Think A Christmas Story, Aunt Clara and the bunny suit) So, what do you do with the fabulous present?

Follow the Rules

When you follow the re-gifting rules, you don’t have to do anything but receive a heartfelt “Thank you!”

Rules? Yes, just like every other gift-giving event, re-gifting has its proper place. It is not cheap. It is not rude. It is not horrible. Seriously?

It is the thought that counts.”

Think about what goes into buying a gift. The average gifter buys something they would love to have. They give it to someone else out of emotion compounded by their own being enamored with the gift.

The hard part is when the re-gifter receives this heartfelt gift in the first place. The re-gifter must be gracious and thank the giver for the gift.

World Calendar

The next step is checking the calendar for the first opportunity to return the gift.

What NOT To Do

Rather than drag out the unwanted gift when the giver comes to call, re-gift it to the giver. Apparently, she liked it or she wouldn’t have bought it!

At a Tempe, Arizona holiday party Leslie didn'...

Image via Wikipedia

Follow The Steps

So here is the step-by-step on re-gifting:

1. Receive the unwanted gift with grace and thanks.

2. Always re-gift to the giver. If this person is not a trained re-gifter, explain. So much thought went into choosing the gift, it would be unfair for the gift to be wasted by you.

Gift Box

3. Never re-gift to someone who did not buy the gift. This is the mistake of the beginning re-gifter. Chances are one of two situations arise:

  • The new recipient knows the origin of the re-gift.
  • An acquaintance of the new recipient knows the origin of the re-gift.

4. Be sure to tell your recipients (before the package is opened) if they do not like the gift, you would certainly love it back. Unfortunately, these are not the gifts which are usually re-gifted.

5. Do not have your feelings hurt when a trained re-gifter re-gifts your gift to you. They are not going to deceive you into believing they really liked it or return it for money.

No Harm! No Foul!

Re-gifting is not a bad thing if you put your heart into choosing a gift in the first place. Now, if you just bought the first thing on the rack at the truck-stop on the way into town, don’t be surprised when it is re-gifted to you!

~~~~~~~~~~

What is the most bizarre gift you have ever gotten?
Did you give it back, away or return it?

~~~~~~~~~~

(c) Ann Marie Dwyer 2011
Reblogging of this or any other post on Momma’s Money Matters is expressly forbidden.
Copyright and Privacy Policy available in The Office.
11 Comments
by on November 30, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Celebrations, Cost Cutting Tips, Saving Money
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Posted by Red on November 30, 2011

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Happy Birthday, Dammit.

My husband and I were an exercise in opposites attract. Where he hated birthday celebrations, I will always celebrate my birthday. I have more reasons to celebrate than he ever had reasons not to, which is why we always celebrated his, too!

christmas 2007

Too soon!

Although one month and one day after Christmas, most are worried with credit card bills of too much spent during the holidays, first of the year blues and colds…not I. I am ready to celebrate! Why?

Raspberry cheesecake

First and foremost, I survived another year!

With a shoeful of children, my own businesses, a menagerie, being a widowed momma and a few more grey hairs, I make it through another year. I see it not as a race to prove my mortality, but as a triumph! What better reason is there to have a party?

Next, I am still alive.

This may seem redundant, but truly it is not. My health issues, and my good fortune not to have as severe ones as my siblings or my late husband, make the survival from one birthday to the next worthy of celebration.

Then, I am grateful.

My parents were willing to bring me into a huge family with a matching sized heart, albeit with memories of Swiss cheese. The cards and emails I receive arrive in streaming fashion as one of my nine siblings remembers my birthday has just passed and forwards the “y didn’t u remind me? o.O” text message around.

English: Gift ideas for men - wrapping paper e...

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Where’s the box?

After that, a package from my mother arrives, perfectly on time, ten days after my birthday. The box is filled with presents for my children which I will enjoy with them. After all, birthdays are about family bonding.

We are having a Christmas Party after church t...

Blue, black, rasp...get with the berries already! Image via Wikipedia

Get With the Grub!

Ah, the cheesecake! The night of my birthday, I want cheesecake, not some layered confection with an overdose of icing molded into roses, blech. Yes, candles in the cheesecake. Watching the children dig through the drawer to find the right numbered candles is fun. Usually, someone whips out a calculator to see how old I really am.

Relax!

With the giant cheesecake gone and a few pants unbuttoned, it is time to sprawl on the floor and play. Little ones go to bed with visions of their upcoming birthdays in their heads. Big ones lie on the floor to play (get beaten at) board games with me.

When the house is all quiet, and I snuggle alone into bed, I send the Big Guy a prayer. I quietly tell him, “Thank you for one more year.”

~~~~~~~~~~

How do you celebrate your birthday? And if not, why not?!

~~~~~~~~~~

(c) Ann Marie Dwyer 2011
Reblogging of this or any other post on Momma’s Money Matters is expressly forbidden.
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by on November 29, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Celebrations, Food, Humor, Parenting, Relationships, Single Parents
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Posted by Red on November 29, 2011

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What You Heard Was Not What I Meant

Specificity is the rule.” -Author unknown, but whose hand I would love to shake.

Common misunderstandings come from saying one thing, but meaning something totally different from what the other person understood. Humans have some annoying, correctable idiosyncrasies which prevent them from communicating with others.

עברית: אוזן

Image via Wikipedia

Average person will listen to four words before formulating a response.

This person will assume (herein is the monstrous, avoidable, in-a-nutshell problem) she knows the remainder of the diatribe. Frustration of the speaker comes with her inappropriate response, due wholly to not having listened to what was actually said.

English: The bluetooth headset. Русский: Гарни...

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Average person has a built-in (albeit malfunctioning) universal translator.

This person will assume (Pst.) the speaker misspoke, worded it improperly or has made a miscalculation in the logical path to what she meant to say. He will translate what was said into what he would have said and respond accordingly. Much like the assumption in the first example, therein lies the issue.

English: Mr. Rishabh Jain

Image via Wikipedia

Average person has no interest in change.

This person will assume that the speaker’s complaint is best resolved by the speaker adjusting his perception rather than adjusting her actions which directly caused the complaint.

Average person is not at fault.

This person will assume (Oh, my! Do you see the pattern YET?) the speaker is fundamentally flawed. The problem could in no way be attributed to him, his actions, his inactions or his attitude.

Average person knows what he meant.

This speaker will assume (!!!), regardless of the words escaping his mouth, the listener will understand exactly what he meant to say.

You are an ass.”

In all five of these examples, the stumbling block is assumption (assume = making an “ass” of u + me). Overcoming that block is as simplistic as the quote at the beginning: Be specific.

Communication

Image by P Shanks via Flickr

First, say what you mean.

Clearly, albeit best concisely, state your grievance. Then, stop to be quiet enough to listen to the response. If it is inappropriate, restate the grievance without pointing out the fault in the response. If you need a third trip through, breathe, consider your wording and attitude carefully before you speak again.

Second, listen to the words being said.

The person with which you speak may very well be articulate and able to discuss issues with you, should you give them the opportunity.

Third, do not be vague.

Point out the precise action which is causing the grievance rather than alluding to politically correct “feelings” you may have about the action. This will avoid the possibility of your perception being the issue.

Fourth, condescension is not becoming.

Do not make your observation of a person’s attitude, inaction or actions a personal attack. Clearly state this action lead to this result. This type of watertight communication will involve the listener in the self-reflection necessary to abate or correct the issue.

two way street

Image by herbrm via Flickr

Fifth, ask questions.

If you are unsure what was said was what was meant, repeat the statement in the form of a question. If the speaker cannot understand what you are saying, cash in the chip which says what she said was not what she meant.

Look both ways.

Communication is a two-way street: speaking and listening. Both parties must contribute equally for it to be successful. Issuance of blame is not vital to resolving misunderstandings. Specificity is.

Which of the five deadly communication asses plagues you the most?


© Red Dwyer 2011
Reblogging of this or any other post on The M3 Blog is expressly forbidden.
Copyright and Privacy Policy available in The Office.
27 Comments
by on November 29, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Communication, Marriage, Parenting Psychology, Relationships
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Pass the Tax Rebate

Part VIII of the Auto Saving Series. This is the final segment of the series. If you missed a segment, start at the beginning.

Charity advertisements bombard potential donors with the tax advantage of donating a car to their charity. The benefits of donating a used car, RV, boat or airplane goes beyond just the money you will not have to pay the IRS.

Seal of the Internal Revenue Service

Image via Wikipedia

Gag on Paperwork

For the non-record keeper, the standard deductions are $500 or the calculated value of the car, whichever is less. If the vehicle is sold for more than $500, written proof from the charity for the price sold it is required. When in doubt or without proof from the charity, deduct $500.

The taxpayer can claim up to the gross payment for the vehicle as long as it does not exceed more than half of the adjusted income of the taxpayer. Clear as mud, right? In layman’s terms, the taxpayer can claim the selling price of the car as long as it is not more than one half of his yearly taxable income.

What other benefits are there?

Donations are split into many different categories: auctions, sales, donations and recycling. Each one represents a totally different benefit.

The Mechanic

Prepping for Sale

Charities prepare the cars for sale by making them road worthy. Many charities hold contracts with vocational and trade schools for this work. Education benefits from these donations.

Auctions

Auction houses take charity vehicles, without charging the normal commission for the sales. This commission adjustment is tax deductible for the auctioneers and nets the charity more money for the donated vehicle. The charity benefits.

OK Used Cars

Used Cars For Sale

More and more charities have found that opening car sales lots is producing more monetary results that auctions. This increases the tax base of the community supporting those in most need. The whole community benefits.

Donate It Again

Donating donations is becoming more popular. The charity donates the repaired vehicle to a family in need. Although no money changes hands, the charity will foot the bill for the registration and any state related fees. A family in need benefits.

American Automobile Culture A building with do...

Image via Wikipedia

Recycle It

Recycling produces many benefits. Used cars which are not reparable or do not meet pollution standards are recycled. The metals are used for everyday items that find their way into many homes in the forms of door knobs, faucets, car parts and appliance parts. The environment, consumer and charity benefit!

What do you want?

Knowing that when you donate your used car it will benefit so many people, there is no real reason to haul it to a junk yard, even if it is wrecked. All they will do is make profit by selling its parts. Make many benefit from your donation: Donate your used car to a charity.

~~~~~~~~~~

Have you (or a family member) donated a car? Which charity? And would you do it again?

~~~~~~~~~~


(c) Ann Marie Dwyer 2011
Reblogging of this or any other post on Momma’s Money Matters is expressly forbidden.
Copyright and Privacy Policy available in The Office. 
9 Comments
by on November 29, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Cars, Green Means Green, Saving Money
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Posted by Red on November 29, 2011

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Analyze This

After much brouhaha over my poem Survivors, I am reluctantly putting out another one for your perusal, but this one has a request: Tell me what it means to you.

albumen

Image via Wikipedia

It is all about you.

Contrary to all of my noon posts for a week, eh? Well, this one truly is about you. When writers show you their creative side, they are offering you the soft spot. You can stroke it gently or sink in a dagger. Either way, the writer gets much-needed input to hone the creative process.

What did you hear?

Communication is rarely an equal opportunity two-way street. More often than not, what we say is interpreted by our recipients into something completely different from what we meant. (Cue game of telephone for giggles.)

Listen with your heart.

Please read the poem with your mind and heart open. Tell me what it says to you.

Interrupted

The hours ebb and flow, though I have
no concept of their passage.
I see only those things I can reach
here in the inky darkness.
Faintly in the distance, I hear the bell,
but daren’t assume it tolls for me.
Yet, still I wonder, if at the other
end you hold my happiness.

Reluctantly, I raise it to my ear,
coaxing only a breathless, timid, “Hello?”
Warmth engulfs my body and soul as
your sultry voice purrs into my ear.
“Hello, my love,” and my eyes close
tightly, conjuring your face before them.
I feel your embrace for a moment before
it fades chilly away without you here.

As I put down the phone, an overwhelming
emptiness replaces your warmth.
My soul so desolate the desert seems
lush, should you choose to compare.
Was I right to torment myself with
what I cannot have?
To punish us both for the precious
time we fleetingly share?

Would only the chance present itself
where we could ride away
With the top down, we would drive
toward the mountain skies,
Stopping only to drink in the natural
beauty, inevitably interrupted
By our own desire, slaked only when
locked in each others’ eyes.

Davis Mountains., Texas, USA.

Image via Wikipedia

Author’s Note: If you enjoyed this poem at all, please visit its original home and vote/rate accordingly.


© Red Dwyer 2011
Reblogging of this or any other post on The M3 Blog is expressly forbidden.
Copyright and Privacy Policy available in The Office. 
30 Comments
by on November 28, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Muse for Monday, Poetry
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Posted by Red on November 28, 2011

https://mommasmoneymatters.com/love-interrupted-poetry/

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