I am listening.

Yesterday, we talked about body language which screamed, “I am not listening.” So, what body language does the listener employ?

Good Eye Contact

Look them in the eye when you speak.

Even if your audience is not looking directly into your eyes, it should be watching your face or hands (if you are gesturing). Eye contact translates to “seeing eye-to-eye”.

Faced Forward

When listeners sit or stand with their bodies facing directly toward you, they are being receptive to your message.  Their standing posture will be comfortable, hands at sides (or in pockets) one knee bent for comfort. Horses stand with one foot slack to show trust and comfort…same theory.

Leaning In

The opposite of verbal limbo, your audience is trying to get closer to you. This posture means they are seeking what you are saying. The most comfortable lean-in is with the elbows on the knees. The most exaggerated cases are the hanging on the edge of the seat crowd.

Nodding

Your audience is agreeing with you or learning something. This is the personification of the light bulb going off over their heads. In severe cases, it comes with three snaps up and a twist.

Feet forward and still.

Feet Still

No foot fidgeting means they are not trying to flee. The feet are firmly planted on solid ground receiving your message.

Hands in Lap

Your audience is not threatened by your message. There is no need for a defensive posture, and they are unlikely to deflect your ideas. Unless taking notes or raising a hand for a question, their hands will remain immobile for the majority of what you say.

Head Tilt

When the brain is engaged, people will often tilt their heads, signifying they are working your subject into their understanding of (the situation, the process, the ideal). It shows although your message is not the one they would have delivered, it is amenable.

Loose Expression

Muscles in the face tighten when people are stressed, angry or disagreeable. A slack expression means the person has not yet formed an opinion of your topic and is still gathering information.

Smile

Nothing is better than a smile. The sign of agreement, happiness and excitement, a smile means your audience is engaged in your message and happy to be. Seek this type of body language with all of your messages.

Sweet Layers

Parfait

Layered body language is when you are seeing more than one of the above. Like a parfait, it is sweet to see more layers of listening.

Just Because

You need to remember, just because your audience is listening does not mean they understand what you meant. If you are getting all the receptive body signs, take the time to ask questions to gauge understanding. When they answer in concurrence, you will be the one with the smile.

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(c) Ann Marie Dwyer 2011
Reblogging of this or any other post on Momma’s Money Matters is expressly forbidden.
Copyright and Privacy Policy available in The Office. 

Musician Spotlight: Come Back Buddy

The original roots of Rock ‘n’ Roll are blaring in the Coffee Shoppe this week with M3’s feature: Come Back Buddy. Red took Mike Randall (lead vocals, guitar) to the side to ask a few questions about the band, the music, A White Sport Coat and what it in the works. She kept a grin and had to laugh at some of the “come back” answers.

M3: Mike, give the M3 Readers the short version of what Come Back Buddy is all about.

Come Back Buddy at Norterra

MR: Come Back Buddy is a 3-piece rock-n-roll band inspired by the legendary “Buddy Holly and the Crickets”.  The trio’s repertoire includes the music of many artists from the 50′s era including Elvis Presley, Chuck Berry, Johnny Cash, Roy Orbison, Ricky Nelson and of course, Buddy Holly.

M3: Got anyone besides Buddy Holly you want to thank?

MR:  A few people. My mom was a singer and had a good ear for it. She taught me who all the great singers were. I had the good fortune to learn about this music while in high school from some teachers who had a 50’s band. My wife (and bassist),  Janine has been instrumental in my deciding to form this band 12 years ago.

M3: Your enthusiasm is palpable. What makes this so close to your heart?

MR:  It is the thing that brought my wife and I together.

M3: A love story! Do you have anything Come Back Buddy is working on at the moment?

MR: A couple of young film makers named Josh Badham and Brian Rider have just completed a documentary about the band. We have not yet seen it, but hope to in the next few days! We also are getting ready to release a second CD.

M3: Sounds like you are staying busy. How do you find the time?

MR:  It’s a challenge sometimes, but a fun one, so I really don’t spend too much time thinking about it.

M3: Has the state of the economy had an impact on your performance schedule?

MR:  No. We have actually gotten busier.

M3: I guess that is really a “yes”! Does Come Back Buddy ever go on hiatus?

MR: No. As Chuck Berry put it: “You can’t stop the train, you gotta let it roll on!”

M3: Great quote, Mike. Should the M3 Readers care about what you do for a “day job”?

MR: No, but I’ll let you know when I quit it!

M3: So, let’s talk shop. Where did you get your start in the biz?

MR:  In the Midwest – Illinois to be exact.

M3: Any advice for the noobs?

MR: Follow your heart. Learn as much about business as you can. All business, not just music.

M3: What kind of feedback do you get from your colleagues in other bands?

MR: It has changed since we started. In the beginning, people were quick to give us advice. Now, they want to know how we do it.

Come Back Buddy, Harrah's Casino, Las Vegas NV

A White Sport Coat

M3: Do you think the traditional music industry looks at self-produced music as inferior?

MR: I actually think the traditional industry has retired.

M3: I think you may be right. Tell me a secret you probably do not want all of the M3 Readers to find out.

MR: Ha. Ha. Okay, here it is. We haven’t had a rehearsal in years.

M3: Speaks volumes to your talent. What makes A White Sport Coat different from all the others CDs out there?

MR: In that it shows a lot of reverence for the artists and music of the past. A lot of people like that.

M3: In 15 words or less, tell me why I absolutely have to buy your CD.

MR: Because Red, YOU know the answer to the question: Where’s the Fun?!!!

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Dear M3 Readers,

Check out Come Back Buddy and pick up your copy of A White Sport Coat. Get the latest on their schedule or watch videos and listen to the music. Follow CBB on Twitter for the latest in dates and releases.

As always, thank you for stopping by and your continued support of the very talented musicians and artists of The M3 Coffee Shoppe. When you tweet this post, please use the hashtags #music and #FF.

Red.
M3

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(c) Ann Marie Dwyer 2011
Reblogging of this or any other post on Momma’s Money Matters is expressly forbidden.
Copyright and Privacy Policy available in The Office. 

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

I am not the only one who thinks retail establishments who begin playing Christmas carols the day (before,  of, after) Thanksgiving are reasonable targets for arson. The aggregate effect of all this holiday singing, however, produced a really unexpected result in my family.

Read the full post »

Read My Body

Communication is far more than the words coming from your mouth or fingertips. Body language is not always a subtle science either. Your body screams your mood, even when your mouth is completely still. Do you know how to read your audience to see if they are listening… or want to listen? Read the full post »

Speak To Me, But Think First

An old proverb says it particularly well:

There is a reason that you have two ears and but one mouth.”

Sometimes the smartest thing to say is not what you are planning, but instead, “Would you please repeat that?”

Speaking Without Thought

Many people speak before they think. This phenomenon is documented by doctors. The human brain begins formulating a response to a statement after hearing only four words.

Still Shrinking

Longa 2

Image via Wikipedia

Surely, by the time that the Generation X-ers reach the current Boomers’ age, the number of words will be even smaller. X-ers do know everything, you see. Perhaps that is why the number is so small now. Respondents are certain they know what the other person is going to say.

Two Notes!

Are we so advanced that our verbal skills are rendered mute? Have we become truly telepathic? Maybe, Hollywood could remake the “Name that Tune” game show.

Blah, Blah, Blah, But…

Another explanation could be the respondent feels his point is more valid. Although this seems rather egocentric, there could be some validity to it. Are you saying the same thing for the 18th time?

Watching The Clock

Yet still, as a society, are we so pressed for time we feel the need to abbreviate all interactions in our lives? Common catchphrases today are mostly sentences or phrases slurred into a single word or initials of words. Time is valuable, after all.

Just give me the Cliff’s Notes version.

English: French teenage girl texting while rea...

This theory is tested every single day on your computer, on your bookshelf and in your newspaper. Headlines scream or tantalize in the fewest words possible to entice you to read further. Condensed novels are selling on Kindles at record rates.

WYD?

This abbreviation is evident in text messages and email slang. While arguments can be made that it saves the typing time, the same argument cannot viably be applied to speech. Honestly, can you make your point in four words or less?

Speak to me.

Deutsch: Kaffeetasse mit Milchkaffee (Café au ...

As we seek to pack the most into the least (think shot of espresso vs. a large cafe au lait), we need to take the time to listen and appropriately discourse. Conversation need not become a lost art.

Wait for it!

Knowing time is valuable, please make the effort to listen long enough the question need not be repeated when your invalid response is delivered. The qualifier which may completely change your view on the subject may well be delivered at the end of the sentence!

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When was the last time the message changed at the very end? What abbreviation do you despise the most?

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(c) Ann Marie Dwyer 2011
Reblogging of this or any other post on Momma’s Money Matters is expressly forbidden.
Copyright and Privacy Policy available in The Office.